I mean, let’s face it. There are going to be times when you aren’t around your baby. Whether you have to work, run some quick errands, or just get some time to yourself. Your baby is going to have to learn how to take a bottle eventually, and it honestly doesn’t have to be a struggle. There are a few things that once you understand, can prepare you to make the switch from breast to bottle back to breast easier.

Why Babies Sometimes Prefer Bottle to Breast

Understanding the reasons behind the preference can help you better reverse it. Bottles are not the enemy here, as some may have it seem. Going from bottle to breastfeeding or vice versus, can give a momma some much needed relief. When handled correctly. 

First it’s important to understand that when baby refuses breast but takes bottle it does not have to mean you will be pumping for the rest of your breastfeeding journey. Or that you will have to end it all together.  

Bottles are just easier, period. And that’s for everyone involved. Mother gets a break and baby often doesn’t have to work as hard to get milk. Which is what can cause a bottle preference. Three tips to curve a bottle preference: 

1. If you can, purchase bottles that are shaped similar to a breast. This will ensure that your baby still has to open their mouth (and activate the same muscles) they would when breastfeeding. 

2. The slower the flow the better. Breastmilk does not just freely flow out of the breast. Your baby has to actively work to get milk. This includes sucking, squeezing your breast, adjusting their head, among other things. When the nipple flow on the bottle is too fast babies can get used to a faster flow and then end up getting frustrated when they are reintroduced to breastfeeding. 

3. Hold the baby as upright as comfortable for them when they use a bottle. Almost as if they are sitting straight up in your arms. It’s okay to have a little lean, but the point is to have the bottle working against gravity not with it. Again, mimicking breastfeeding in the flow of the milk. 

How to Reintroduce Breastfeeding After a Period of Bottle Feeding 

If it’s been a while since you’ve put baby to breast and you’re worried about your supply, or maybe missing that bonding that comes with breastfeeding, don’t worry. I know you may be wondering  how to breastfeed a bottle fed baby or even how to get baby back to breast, I’m here to tell you it’s doable. With a little bit of consistency and some tips you can be back to breastfeeding in no time. 

Start by Switching to a Slower Flow Nipple

As I mentioned above in my tips, a slower flow on the nipple is going to be key when going back to breastfeeding after bottle feeding. Having a slower flow nipple will more closely match that of your breast, decreasing the likelihood of frustration for your baby during feedings. 

Avoid Using a Pacifier During the Transition Back to Breast

When switching from bottle to breast it is important to avoid a pacifier if you can. Artificial nipples can cause a lot of confusion especially since the way a baby sucks / uses them is completely different from when they are at the breast. Additionally, if baby uses your breast as a pacifier it will help build and maintain your milk supply more effectively. Remember breastfeeding based on supply and demand. The more baby demands, the more the body supplies. Putting baby to breast as much as possible can also prevent mastitis. So take advantage of every opportunity to put baby to breast, if you can.  

Offer the Breast First Thing in the Morning (Not the Bottle)

If your baby seems lazy on the breast after a bottle try breastfeeding first thing in the morning. After sleeping for a longer stretch your baby will be very hungry, use that to your advantage. Offering your breast when they are hungrier could make them want to work harder for the milk. Also, mornings are when milk supply is most abundant, and your breasts are probably fuller. This will give your baby instant gratification at the breast. As an added bonus, if you have a teething baby they will be less likely to bite while nursing if latched while still sleepy. 

Nurse Baby Skin to Skin

The transition from bottle to breast can be hard for the both of you, so utilizing every option you have is vital. Skin to skin not only promotes milk production, because it stimulates the milk hormones prolactin and oxytocin. It also strengthens the bond between you and your baby. Creating calm moments just for the two of you can help when reintroducing breastfeeding after a bottle.  

Nurse in a Distraction-Free Zone

We all get distracted, right. That includes babies. And throw in something that isn’t giving the instant gratification we’re used to and anything is going to be better than trying to figure things out. Making time to nurse in a calm, quiet and even dark room to alleviate distractions will help your baby focus on the goal at hand. Breastfeeding! Remember calm and steady wins the race. 

Try nursing in a calm, quiet space whenever possible to avoid distractions. If baby consistently fails to empty the breast, it could result in engorgement or mastitis. 

Breastfeed When Baby Is Sleepy (There Will Be Less Resistance)

Sucking is a natural born reflex, something babies can do in their sleep. When your baby is in a light sleep try bringing them skin to skin next to a full breast and see if they latch. You can also try holding your baby for their entire nap and nurse at the earliest hunger cues. Sometimes initiating the let-down (using hand massages to get milk release) before putting baby to breast helps as well. This gives an instant reward, similar to the bottle. 

Consistency Is Key!

I know trying to figure out how to breastfeed again after stopping can be frustrating. But it is important to remember your why. Even if you aren’t getting much success. Just like it took time for baby to get adjusted to the bottle, it is going to take time for them to get back adjusted to breastfeeding. It will definitely take some patience and perseverance, but it is not impossible. 

Common Issues & Questions When Baby Refuses the Breast After Bottle Feeding

If your baby is not taking breast after a bottle and you are wanting to reintroduce breastfeeding rest assured it can be done. Returning to breastfeeding after bottle using the tips and tricks mentioned above will definitely make it easier. If you’ve tried and still have concerns, here are a few of the most common issues and some advice from a breastfeeding momma of five. 

Can I reintroduce breastfeeding after exclusively pumping? 

Yes you most certainly can. It would actually probably help your milk supply too. Our breasts are stimulated to produce not only how much milk baby drinks but also on their saliva. 

When going from exclusively pumping to breastfeeding, start to omit pumping sessions with feeding sessions. The goal here is to slowly get rid of the pump. No, I don’t mean throw it out. I know how much those things cost. And plus, you can still pump for days when you’ll be out more or may be want to use your breastmilk for some of its amazing uses. 

 What I am saying is, the more you put baby to breast, the more likely you will have success with switching to breastfeeding from exclusively pumping. Remember supply and demand. 

Why does my baby pull away and cry while breastfeeding?

This can happen if baby associates breastfeeding with something negative. Maybe baby has spent hours crying at the breast frustrated due to an inability to latch correctly. Or maybe they’ve had their face slammed into the breast one too many times by a well meaning consultant trying to “help” teach your baby to latch. 

I remember with my second born the lactation consultant grabbed her by the back of her neck and very forcibly put her face to my breast. I was so upset, I took my baby off of my breast and gently guided her to it. While she was well meaning, that lactation consultant could have caused issues for me later on had I not corrected that in the moment. 

The best way to fix this? Take a break. I know it sounds counter productive, but hear me out. Your baby currently associates breastfeeding with something negative. Continuing to force them will only exacerbate that. And increase your frustrations. 

Give yourself some grace and take a break. A few more days of bottle feeding is not going to be the end of your breastfeeding journey. Come back relaxed and ready to give it a go again. You and baby will thank you for it. 

How do I get my baby to like the breast over a bottle?

While ultimately this comes down to perseverance and consistency, there are a few things you can do to boost their love for the breast over the bottle. First, try different positions. The football hold, cradle hold or even the side hold. Try as many as you can until you find one that works for you and baby. Being held by mommy in a comfy position all snuggled up will definitely help win them over to the breast. 

Try nipple shields. These are usually pretty inexpensive and can help baby with any nipple confusions. Easy to attach to your breast, you can have baby breastfeeding in minutes. Made of silicon they feel and taste similar to the nipple of a bottle these may make the transition easier. Expressing some milk in the end may help peek your babies interest. 

Make sure to also rule out a nursing strike. Nursing strikes are when baby flat out refuses to breastfeed or only feeds for short periods. These can be causes by ear infections (they make it comfortable to suck), infant acid reflux, too fast (or too slow)  of a let down, breastfeeding in a not so calm environment, or pain due to injury or surgery. 

Your Mental Health Is Important!

Finally, do your best, but remember not to stress. One of the best things about babies is how adaptable they are. While these things can take time, and eventually some babies get it, do not let breastfeeding take over your life. If you are determined to breastfeed after bottle, even if your baby is as stubborn as my fourth child, keep on pushing. But if you notice you are starting to feel shame or guilt around this transition, remember that fed is best. And sometimes that can look like putting your mental health first and pivoting from the original game plan. Whatever the outcome, you got this momma!

The post The Ultimate Guide to Reintroducing Breastfeeding After Bottle [It Is Doable!] appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

So while this may still be somewhat of a foreign concept to me, the more I read about it, the more I want to learn all the ways I can help fill my child’s love tank. 

Learning your child’s love language can help you make informed decisions when parenting them. Speaking to your child’s love language can ensure your child knows without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved. 

If you have a child under five it may be hard to determine their love language. Check out this toddler love language quiz for a starting point. Keep in mind that yes, It’s good to know your child’s primary love language, but practicing ALL five of them is a most powerful expression of love for any child.  

The 5 Love Languages of Children

When you think of love languages, remember that we all express love and experience it in different ways. The common thought on this is that there are five love languages. Within these five we each have a primary one. How we express love to others is ultimately how we wish to experience it.  

While they can be described in a number of ways, the love languages list boils down to this; 

1. Physical Touch
2. Gifts
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Quality Time

So when it comes to your child, think of how they may be showing you affection. This will be a telltale sign of how they wish to be loved.  

It’s important to remember that each child is going to crave attention and affection differently. Finding out which means the most to your individual child can help not only create a strong bond with your child but even ward off unwanted behaviors. 

One of the easiest ways to find out your child’s love language is to take a love language quiz for kids. You can take it for them or if they are old enough have them answer the questions themselves. 

1. Service

Known as acts of service, a child who appreciates thoughtful gestures fails into this love language. Things like helping them tie their shoes, or carrying their book bag to the car without them asking really speak to them. 

How to Tell?

Most kids are going to appreciate you bringing them a gift or going the extra mile to do something, so how do you know if this love language is how your child seeks love? When a child asks you to fix a bicycle or help put their pants on, he or she does not merely want to get a task done; this is their cry for love and attention. 

Having a child whose primary love language is acts of service may seem daunting. I mean, are you required to do every task they request of you for fear of them growing up feeling unloved? Thankfully not.

If your child’s primary love language is acts of service, this does not mean that you have to jump at every request. Instead, try to be sensitive to the requests. Remember that your response may either help fill their love tank or slowly empty it. Each request calls for a thoughtful, loving response.

2. Gifts

While most children love getting gifts, a child whose primary love language is gifts will be happy with even the smallest tokens that represent your love. 

How to Tell?

These are the children who go out of their way to give you gifts. Think of the time you went on a walk and they handed you a flower they had just picked. Or when they spent hours decorating a card for your birthday. For these children, the time, thought and effort of the gift are what truly matters. More than the actual present itself. 

3. Affirmation

With so many different expressions of love, it can be hard to get them all straight. When a child’s love language is words of affirmation what that means is speaking encouraging and endearment and affection to them. This can look like giving them praise for completing a task. Tell them how much you love them. Or even telling them much you enjoy when they draw, sing or color. Be mindful that besides giving words of affirmation, the tone of voice, gentleness of the mood and sense of caring all communicate emotional warmth and love to your child. 

How to Tell?

As powerful affirming words would be for this child, harsh, criticizing words will have an equally negative effect. The same will be true when they are yelled or screamed at. Words are very powerful for anyone, but especially for a child who thrives off of them. 

4. Time

I think in life, we have so many things battling for our time. From our jobs to our children. And it can seem like such a struggle having to choose. But for parents of a child who feel loved by the time a person gives them, the victor of this never ending battle has already been chosen. 

Quality time is more than just being in the same room as your child. It’s focused attention. It involves giving a child your undivided attention, even if for just short periods at a time. 

How to Tell?

Children who speak quality time as a love language crave their parents’ undivided attention. They need you to be fully present in order for their emotional love tank to be filled! This can look like always asking you to play with them. Watch as they do some silly trick or ask to help you with things. It’s more about being in the moment with you than anything else. 

A great time to fill this portion of a child’s love tank is right before bed. Spend some time asking them how their day was. What were some of their favorite parts of the day or if they had anything they’d like to change about it. Reading a book is another great way to spend quality time with your child. 

5. Touch

We’ve all felt a warm embrace from someone and instantly knew we were loved. Or maybe you’ve had a reassuring pat on your shoulder that was just what you needed. Physical touch means more than hugs or kisses. Pats on the back, holding hands, high fives or even an arm around the shoulder are all great ways to show affection for a child with this love language. 

How to Tell?

While all children need physical contact with their parents throughout their lives, even when it’s not their primary love language. For children who do have this as their primary love language, physical touch communicates love to them more deeply than any other love language can.

Creative Ways to Fill Your Child’s Love Tank According to Their Love Language

It’s great knowing what love language best makes them happy and feel valued, but knowing is not just enough. Now you have to speak your child’s love language. Once you’ve determined your child’s love language there are things you can do to help fill their love tanks in a special way. 

Think of writing them love notes everyday for the month of February if they resonate with words of affirmation. Or maybe quality time is really their jam, in which case teaching them how to tidy up around the house could serve as a win for the both of you! 

There are so many ways you can get creative and help your child feel loved, seen and valued. Some of which may even surprise you! 

If Your Child’s Language Is Service

Acts of service may seem a little daunting, at first glance it seems as if you are going to be sending the rest of your days in servitude to your child. But I can guarantee that is far from the truth. When thinking of ways to express love to your child, refrain from looking at it as if it’s a chore. Instead make it fun! 

Is it bedtime? Instead of telling them to go to bed, carry them. Once you get to their room, make a game out of tucking them in! Dinner or any meal time can be another opportunity, cooking their favorite meal, making a creative “animal” with their food, or even blending their favorite fruits into a smoothie and bringing it to them. 

Other ways to demonstrate acts of service for you child include: 

• Finishing a chore for them 
• Doing a surprise room makeover 
• Making their bed for them one day 
• Fix (or replace) a broken toy 
• Breakfast in bed 
• Picking them up from school early one day 
• Got a reader? Buy that next book in the series they’re reading. 

If Your Child’s Language Is Gifts

It’s important to remember the gift is less important here. Thinking of them, knowing who they are and what they would like, means the most for a child whose love language is receiving gifts. For example, for my daughter’s eighth birthday we surprised her with an American Girl Birthday Party. Complete with her own American Girl Doll, that she got to name, dress and even pick accessories for.

And while I am absolutely sure she loved the party, what really mattered to her was that I remembered how much she wanted an American Girl Doll. I mean, this was something she had been talking about for almost a year at that point. Every chance she could, she’d mention how cute they were and how she would love to have one. By throwing her that party, I told her not only do I listen to you, but I think about you and I love you. 

Receiving gifts can look like: 

• Creating a photo album or book about them and some special moments you’ve shared
• Hand picking flowers for that nature lover 
• Writing your child a song or poem and then giving it to them 
• Creating a photo album or scrapbook all about how special they are
• Picking up something at the store to add to their collection of…(rocks, cars, trading cards etc)
• Hanging a special photo of you and them 
• Buying small toys / gifts “just because” 

If Your Child’s Language Is Affirmation

The love language words of affirmation is closest to my heart because it is one of the ways I feel most loved. Words mean a big deal to a child who’s love tank is filled by affirmations, which means while we as parents must be conscious about telling them how much we love them. We also need to be mindful when we discipline them. 

With that being said, there are traditions, especially for valentines day, you can implement that will surely fill their emotional tanks. 

• Start a love journal with them. The two of you can write letters and love notes back and forth
• Give compliments randomly throughout the day. Things like, “I love being with you. I love being your Mom.”
• Be loud in singing their praises for their efforts and achievements
• When a mistake is made, acknowledging their good intentions, creativity, efforts, or determination
• Painting rocks with encouraging sayings to give to them 
• Writing love notes in their lunches

If Your Child’s Language Is Time

When it comes to quality time, it’s less about what the child does and more about who they do it with. This particular child is going to want your undivided attention. And while that may not always be possible, here are a few ways to make it happen: 

• One on one dates – try to do this one a month or even once a week if you can 
• Be present and have open and honest conversations 
• Reading a book to them before bed 
• Finding ways to have special moments with just them (I brush my teeth with my four year old each night before bed. Just him and I)
• If you have multiple children, try having scattered bed times so you can have a few minutes alone with each child
• Showing up for class performances, presentations or shows
• Find a shared hobby (My oldest and I put puzzles together every Friday). 

If Your Child’s Language Is Touch

There are so many ways to express love through touch, and they go beyond simply giving hugs and kisses. Think of epic tickle fights, wrestling matches, or even something as simple as having your child sit on your lap as you read to them. 

When your kiddo’s love language is touch other ways to demonstrate it can include: 

• Holding hands as you walk through the store 
• High fives after they’ve completed their homework 
• Creating an at home spa and giving each other facials 
• Piggyback rides on the way to check the mail 
• Create a secret handshake just for the two of you 

Conclusion

Identifying your child’s love language is a key part of nurturing their emotional development. But as mentioned in the first half of this post, showing love in all five ways is best. And don’t be surprised if the way your child craves love changes. As we grow our needs change along with our mental development. What that means is a child who once loved hugs and kisses may be less interested in all that mushy stuff and just want to spend some one on one time with you. Do what you can to be mindful of how you child shows love as they grow. This continued connection will help foster a strong relationship as they grow, even if their need for affection changes. 

The post How to Use Your Child’s Love Language to Fill Their Tank appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

It’s almost here, one of the best months of the entire year. If you’re into all things love and happiness like I am, then these Valentine’s Day ideas for kids will be right up your alley. 

Growing up as a Jehovah Witness we didn’t celebrate many holidays, so making Valentine’s Day special for kids is something I love to do. It fills my heart with so much joy watching their faces light up as we do crafts together or they read why their momma loves them so much! I’m sure there’s an extra little push somewhere in there to make up for the things I missed out on. But who’s actually keeping track?

Valentine’s Day Craft Ideas

Creating crafts with my kids is always loads of fun. Sike. Who am I kidding? I can’t stand it. My perfectionism kits in and I end up overwhelmed and overstimulated from the “mess.” But since I’m a momma, I suffer through it anyway. That is until I found some valentine crafts for kids that are actually fun. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still messes to be made, but at least you can enjoy the mess and actually make some good memories.  

For these arts and crafts to do with kids on Valentine’s Day grab some hot cocoa with the little marshmallows, let go of the need for everything to be perfect, and enjoy your kids. I’m speaking mostly to myself here, however feel free to heed the above advice as well. I know it’s easier said than done, though. 

1.  Paper Heart Mobile or Garland

Setting aside the millions of pieces of construction paper you may have laying around afterwards, this craft is on the cleaner side. Grab any color (or multiple) of construction paper you’d like, string (fishing lure if you’d like it to be invisible), tape (double sided if you’re fancy) and scissors. 

The best part about this, hearts come in so many different sizes and shapes that embracing the inevitability of our kids creating misshapen hearts will actually make this craft better! Bring on the creativity and even cut inside some of the hearts to make “heart frames”. The number of hearts you create will depend on how long you want your garland to be. 

After the hearts have been cut out, lay out the string on a flat surface. Place each heart along the string, making the spacing between them as close to even as possible. No biggie if it isn’t though. Since this will be hanging no one will notice. Once everything has been laid out, tape the hearts on, hang, ignore the lopsided hearts, construction paper that somehow made it into your child’s hair and enjoy! 

2.  Heart-Shaped Crayon Wreath

Okay, so I think you’ll like this one for sure. No construction paper or cutting involved at all. Already off to a good start, right! To make this craft, you can purchase a heart shaped wreath or use cardstock and create your own. Once you have your base (the wreath) grab the crayons. Get creative and make a pattern using only red, pink and white or use every color and make it a rainbow heart. Either way you can’t go wrong. You are going to glue the crayons onto the base. Again here you can’t really go wrong. I’d recommend gluing them all in one direction but rotating might look just as cool. To make this easier, a hot glue gun would work well, but super glue is also an option. 

3.  Painted “You Rock” Valentines Rocks

A huge fan of painting rocks, my oldest absolutely loves this. With there being several ways to go about it, the level of mess here is really up to you. There are kits you can purchase that come with the perfect rocks, paint, and even gemstones. If you are more on the adventurous side ( and by this I mean you have the patience to do so), go outside and find some rocks. The smoother the easier they are to paint. Pro Tip: The closer to a body of water you find them the smoother they will be. Rock paint (and markers) can be found at your local craft store too. Once you have all the supplies, lay out some trash bags, put on some smocks and let the kids go at it. These typically take a few hours to dry. 

4.  Homemade Valentines Box

No matter what you plan to use it for, we give our kids “love letters” the entire month of February so making DIY valentine boxes work out perfect for us. Or if you child needs one for school, this is a fun craft that can easily take on a life of its own. From something simple to a box that is more involved and has tons of details the possibilities and mess level, are endless here. Pro Tip: Take some of the work off your own hands and buy a premade box so you only need to decorate it. 

5.  Painted Noodle Necklaces

If you’re an adult, you’ve probably made a noodle necklace at least once in your life. And if not, then now is as good of a time as ever. Supplies outside of noodles of course, include paint, string, and any additional decorations you think your child may like. This can include gems, beads, different shapes, really anything. Pro Tip:  Keep in mind that when it comes to making a necklace, the bigger the noodle the easier it is to string. Especially for small hands, so rigatoni is a good choice here. This one can get kind of messy, but putting down trash bags (or brown paper bags) or some type of protectant on the floor will make that less likely. And don’t forget paint smocks. 

6.  Button & Bead Picture Frame

Another classic from my childhood and I know I’m dating myself here. Here me out, while this is probably one of the messier ones, and ultimately will need more patience, it is also one of the sweetest. I mean, what grandparent doesn’t want to display a picture of their grandchild in the picture frame made by said grandchild. 

For this, head to your local craft store and get an array of buttons, beads, and other small accessories. Varying the sizes and color of each will make this even more fun. While you’re at it, go ahead and mentally prepare yourself to be finding beads for weeks to come. In some of the strangest places too. 

For the actual frame you can choose paper or wood. I suggest laying out the pattern or design the beads and buttons will be in before gluing anything down. That way, if anything needs to be adjusted or moved you can do so easily. Once your child has everything laid out just how they’d like, start gluing. A hot glue gun or super glue could work for either frame choice above. 

Valentine Gift Ideas For Kids

When it comes to valentine goodies for kids my first thought is always candy. Chocolate actually. And while there isn’t anything wrong with giving chocolate or any other candy, if you’re looking for some none treat based alternatives, check out the list below:

7. The Gift of Time

One thing we can never get back is our time. It is something that is so precious but often taken for granted. Gift your child the gift of some special one on one time for valentine’s day. Maybe you guys head out on a date, or have a movie night right in your living room. Whatever it is, remember it’s not the activity as much as it is the experience. So worry less about making it fun, and focus solely on loving on them, and speaking their love language. 

8. “All About You” Gift Baskets

Who knows your child better than you? No one right! So making them an all about you gift basket is the perfect way to show this. Get a few of their favorite things, things they’ve been asking for, and even some things that remind you of them and put them in a basket. Nothing says I love you more than a personalized basket full of gifts picked out specifically for someone. And guess what, since no child is involved in making this, the possibility of a mess is very low. 

9. Fancy Family Photoshoot

Valentine Photoshoots are so much fun! And they don’t have to be in a studio either. Get creative and have fun in the process. This year we took ours to Target. It was so much fun playing around in their Valentine decor while making memories with the kids. 

10. Friendship Bracelet Kit 

My daughter loves anything that involves a bracelet and I’m a huge fan of the variety this craft offers. You can make bracelets that need no other supplies beside string, add some beads if you’re in the mood to be picking them up for the next few weeks, or go for less on the accessories, which means less of a mess, while still delivering a big bang. Finally, you can also purchase some pre-made ones and make everyone’s life easier. 

11. Hot Cocoa Bombs

These are newer, well at least to me, and definitely something I want to try and make. From reading different recipes it doesn’t seem too hard. Now with me being about as good at baking as I am at keeping plants alive (which has been an absolute disaster) I am not at all about to pretend I can walk you through making these. Instead check out this recipe here. 

Kid-Friendly Valentine Decoration Inspiration 

Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be any fun without valentine decorations for kids. It’s a way to really get the kids excited for the day. But also, who doesn’t love pops of red and pink all over their home. One way to make Valentine’s Day special for kids is to even decorate their rooms. Most of these decorations can be used in multiple places. 

12. Foam Heart Walls

Easy and quick with a huge impact, foam hearts are an easy way to decorate any wall. They come in a variety of sizes too! Bonus for the easy set up and clean up. Add an extra dose of love and write affirmations on a few of  them. 

13. Deck the Doors with Hearts

This is one of my favorite Valentines traditions. Every year for the entire month of February we put heart shaped loved notes on our kids doors. Then in the morning they get to read their new note. You may think it would be hard to come up with 28 new things to love about your child every day, and sometimes I struggle. When I’m having trouble I do a quick Google search of different ways to tell your child you love them. 

14. DIY Posters

What’s cuter than a homemade poster to hang in your room from your mom? Easy to assemble, especially if you have a cricut, create an entire poster dedicated to how amazing and special your child is!  Another great option is to create something on Canva and have it printed somewhere. 

15. Candy-Filled Mason Jars

I know, I know, I mentioned earlier I would refrain from anything candy related, but how could you blame me. Anything that involves a mason jar is basically mandatory. You can line your fireplace, add some to your entryway table, or use the jars as part of your Valentine tablescape. Use red and pink colored candies like M&M’s, gumballs, or any other candies that are the right colors. Use a Valentine Day themed cupcake wrapper secured with some twine to make it extra cute. 

16. Melted Crayon Heart Art

So first, as I’m sure you don’t already own one of these, you are going to need a heart shaped silicone baking tray. You will be happy to know, this is on the lower end of mess. Literally just taking crayons, removing the paper wrapping and putting them into the baking dish. From there let them melt in the oven for 15 – 20 minutes at 250 degrees. Talk about easy. Oh, don’t forget to break the crayons (if you’re lucky enough to even have whole crayons in your home). But don’t be like me and feel bad for it. I don’t know why but for some reason I always feel like I’m about to get in trouble for breaking crayons. And no, do not ask how often I’m breaking crayons. 

17. Heart Doilies Tablescape 

I have found memories of paper doilies from my childhood. So a tablescape made with heart shaped doilies holds a special place in my heart. Decorate your table in a variety of ways with paper doilies and don’t be afraid to add other things. Such as those melted crayon hearts I mentioned earlier. 

Valentine’s Day Meal Ideas

Of course Valentine’s means a special meal. Making some fun valentine’s day recipes for the kids will definitely make them feel loved. No matter if you are making valentine treats for little kids or Valentine day lunches for your school aged kids, they are sure to love it. 

18. Heart Pretzels

Here’s another chance to use that baking mold you just got! If you haven’t tried baked pancakes, it’s a thing. An amazing thing at that. But if you’re more of a stovetop person, you can still create heart shaped pancakes. Actually, you have options. Choose from a cookie cutter or a pan that has hearts already molded into it. 

19. Pink Milk

Add natural red food coloring to your favorite milk for a fun Valentine day drink. Or even use it for a bowl of cereal for some extra giggles. 

20. Heart-Shaped Fruit Salad

Grab the heart shaped cookie cutters and have some fun! Watermelon and strawberries are perfect fruit for cutting into hearts. Add some cherries, blueberries and a little pineapple for some texture and pops of color. 

21. Love-Themed Waffle Bar for Breakfast

The words waffle and bar literally give me so much joy. Grab all your favorite toppings, your waffle maker, whip up some batter and call everyone down for breakfast. It’s that simple! Fruits, chocolate, preserves, whatever you can imagine. Don’t forget the powdered sugar, syrup and honey. Warning you now, this will result in lots of mess but also lots of laughs. 

22. Chocolate Fondue Fountain 

Who wouldn’t want to wake up to a fondue fountain in their kitchen as a kid! And the best part, there is literally nothing that doesn’t taste good covered in chocolate. Pretzels, fruit, bacon, crackers, there are so many options here. 

23. Mini Heart Donuts 

Hack: make homemade donuts from a can of biscuits in your airfryer for even more love. One of my favorite recipes takes less than 20 minutes. 

Pop up your biscuits (I prefer the plain ones) and start creating your donuts. You an use a cookie cutter, scissors or your hands to get the shape you want. Next combine cinnamon, sugar and melted butter together. Once its blended together well, cover your donuts and add them to the airfryer. Cook for 7-9 minutes and boom! Yummy at home donuts. 

24. Heart-y Grilled Cheese

Grilled cheese is a level of comfort food that screams the person who made this loves you. Cut the bread into hearts before cooking for some extra pizazz. 

Meaningful Valentine Projects for Kids

Looking for some valentine ideas for children that will have more meaning behind it? Because yes, being showered with love is great, but we are raising emotionally healthy humans who can also shower others with love. 

25. Handmade Cards for Your Children’s Classmates

Taking time to create their own valentine cards will not only spark their creativity but also help teach some good lessons. Valentine card ideas for kids can go one of two ways. Super messy and not so messy. So depending on your level of commitment will dictate that. 

26. A Random Act of Kindness

Something I believe we all should do way more often, showing a stranger a random act of kindness is the perfect way to show love on Valentines day. Something like picking up the tab for the person behind you in a drive thru, having your child help a neighbor bring in their groceries or even helping a younger sibling with their homework are some examples. 

27.  Paper Airplane Love Notes for Family

I know us moms like the idea of non-candy Valentines every once and awhile. Especially with the amount of candy Valentine can bring home. Well this paper airplane doubles as “the toy” and the Valentine in one! 

28. Decorate Sugar Cookies for a Neighbor

Let’s face it, we all love Sugar Cookies. Plus they are one of the easier cookies to bake, which means less mess. No I haven’t forgotten about that. Don’t’ forget to decorate them with sprinkles and icing in red and pink to spread the love.

29. Serve at a Homeless Shelter

Something many may not think of, volunteering at a homeless shelter can be meaningful in a number of ways. Not only will it remind our children to be grateful for what they have, but it can also help install some important values. Things like being kind to others no matter their circumstances. Or the realization that one decision could lead them to something similar. 

30. Bake & Deliver Brownies to Local Fire Station

Such a sweet gesture. Be mind of any allergies and opt to make them nut free. You may also need to check with your local station prior to baking. I know a lot of protocols have changed over the years.

Conclusion

So mama whether you were looking for craft, treats, or activities I hope these fun, easy and unique Valentine’s Day Ideas for kids helped you a ton. And I am hoping even more that it helps you create some special moments with your kids. As messy, or not so much, as you’d like them to be.

The post 30 Ideas to Make Valentine’s Day Special for Kids appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

Whether you are in the process of planning your vow renewal or haven’t even started just yet, nailing down your vow renewal invitations is vital. As we all know, from our first wedding, the invitations set the tone for your wedding. And the same can be said for your vow renewal invites. When planning your renewal ceremony whatever the reasons you may be renewing your vows, think of it just as you would your wedding. 

Why You Should Still Send Save the Date Cards for Your Vow Renewal

So how do you announce a vow renewal? With a save the date of course! Sending a save the date may seem a little formal, but if you want people to attend it is a good idea. As we all know, people have lives. Those same people who attended your wedding or even the new friends you’ve made since then, all have busy schedules. Kids have been born, careers have been started, and so much more. I know when we think of save the dates we automatically think of weddings, and there’s nothing wrong with that. To me, a vow renewal is a wedding. Just on a smaller scale. Which makes sending save the dates just as important. 

With that being said, I do not think they need to be sent out in as advanced notice as if it were a wedding. For example, when planning our vow renewal ceremony family and friends received their save the date 3 months prior. Instead of the recommended six months. 

10 Stunning Wedding Invitations for Vow Renewal Ceremony 

Vow renewal invitations ideas can be hard to come by so I’ve created a list of some of the most popular styles to hopefully get your creative juices flowing. Once you’ve found a style / theme that suits you there are plenty of  wedding invitations online to help bring your special day together. 

1. Elegant Floral

If you are going for a more classic approach to your renewal ceremony then elegant floral invitations may be just what you need. The epitome of sophistication, anything with florals just screams class. 

2. Rustic

Rustic wedding vow renewal invitations are perfect if you plan on having your vow renewal in your backyard or anywhere outside where they’ll be lost of trees. Think trees covered in shabby chic fabrics, beer barrel tables, and endless tree stump place holders. 

3. Beachy

If you didn’t have a destination wedding now is definitely the time to do so for your renewal. Beach themed vow renewal invites are the perfect way to tell everyone they better bring their bathing suits. 

4. Funny

Who doesn’t love a joke and the chance to spend time with friends? If you’re the couple with a great sense of humor please do everyone a favor and grab some funny invitations for your anniversary party. 

5. Milestone-Specific

My husband and I waited until our ten year anniversary to renew our vows and if you’re doing something similar then year specific invitations make perfect sense. Making it any amount of time in a marriage is something to be celebrated, but especially if it’s been 20, 30 or even 50 years. 

6. Destination Invites

Who says your vow renewal has to be a small get together in your backyard. You’ve been together for years, you’ve saved some money, have the destination wedding of your dreams. And make sure to let everyone know where to buy their plane tickets for with some invitations themed based on the destination. And if you haven’t noticed yet, I absolutely love Basic Invite. They are one of the few websites that allows customers almost unlimited color options and has instant previews online. Once a design is selected, change the color of each element on the card if you’d like. With over 180 colors to choose from, the invite is sure to be exactly what you want. With a variety like that, they literally have something for everyone.

7. Foil

I can’t think of anything prettier than foil invitations. Perfect for any theme, they shimmer as you move them and are literally pure beauty. Basic Invite offers their foil invites in gold, silver, and rose gold. And you can chose from flat or raised foil on all of their foil designs.

8. Black and White

Talk about a classic. Black and white invitations are as elegant as they come. With tons of customizability these invitations are honestly perfect for any occasion. Black tie affair, industrial, modern, farmhouse, whatever you’re looking for black and white can fit the bill. 

9. Minimalist

If you’re not too big on elegant designs, florals, or any of that other stuff than some minimalist invitations may be just right for you. Keep in mind that minimalist does not have to mean white with black text either. We absolutely loved our 10 year vow renewal invitations, which were very minimalistic. Black with gold writing and the most beautiful calligraphy I was so happy with how they turned out.

10. Watercolor

One of my favorites, right next to minimalist for sure. Watercolor invitations can be found in so many different designs. From floral, abstract, to classic or even rustic or custom the variety is what makes these a top choice for me. If you’re one who loves the look of 

Cute Wording to Use in Your Vow Renewal Invites

Now that we’ve gotten the look of the invitations out of the way, the real question is what are they going to say? Vow renewal invitations wording can be as fun as you’d like it. Saying like “I Do Again” or “We Still Do” are a cute and fun way to let everyone know you’re renewing your vows. 

Looking for something a little more formal? “Your presence is requested as we reaffirm our wedding vows” or “Because you have shared in our lives with friendship and love we’d like to cordially invite you to the renewal ceremony for our wedding vows.” 

Have a theme you’re going for, use that too. For example at our ten year anniversary renewal ceremony our theme was “Love Never Fails.” It was on the top of our invitations as well as all over the venue in different ways. 

We absolutely loved our 10 year vow renewal invitations, which were very minimalistic. Black with gold writing and the most beautiful calligraphy I was so happy with how they turned out.

With all the planning ahead of you, I hope this post gives you some relief from trying to figure out your vow renewal invitations. It’s one less thing on the long to-do list when it comes to getting ready for your second big day. No matter what your theme, location, or budget, remember a vow renewal should celebrate the love and life two special people have made together. How through the test of time you’ve persevered. 

Did I miss any invitation ideas? Let me know in the comments below what you plan to use.

The post 10 Vow Renewal Invitations to Inspire Your “I Do Again” Wedding Planning appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

As a breastfeeding momma, there’ve been plenty of nights where I searched the internet with questions about engorgement vs mastitis. Especially as a new mom to my first baby. So if you have stumbled across this post from doing the same, I want to start by saying yes, breastfeeding is hard. Yes, your breasts are made to do this but that does not take away the stress, frustration, or feelings of devastation that can come with it. And if you are struggling in any way with your breastfeeding journey, please know you are not alone. 

With that being said, I hope this post can help inform and empower you through your journey in Motherhood. 

What Is Engorgement?

To put it as simple as I can, engorgement is when your breasts get too full of milk. During the first few days after birth this is completely normal as your body figures out how often baby needs to fed and how much baby will eat. During the first few days / weeks your milk flow may be all over the place until your supply is established. It’s especially easy to see how one could confuse the two. However telling the difference between engorgement vs mastitis comes down to the symptoms, causes and even treatment.

Causes of Engorged Breasts

As I mentioned above, the weeks after birth your body is doing a lot of adjusting, as are you and baby. Babies are not born knowing how to breastfeed properly. Some may catch on pretty quickly while others struggle in the beginning. Even when your newborn has caught on to breastfeeding there may still be some days that go better than others.Especially during the beginning. This fluctuation in production can cause engorged breasts. 

Other reasons you may get engorged would be to baby not emptying the breast during a feed. Additionally if your baby misses a feeding. Like perhaps they slept through the night for the first time. Or baby’s eating habits have changed, maybe eating less or more due to teething or a growth spurt. 

Signs & Symptoms of Engorged Breasts

If you’re wondering, can engorgement cause pain? The answer to that would be an astounding yes. Breasts can get so full that they are hard, swollen and very painful. If they are severely engorged your breast will become hard, shiny, warm and lumpy. As for your nipples, engorged nipples feel like a lumpy painful mess as well. Often becoming flat and tight. Which, for anyone wondering, feels completely different from if baby bites your nipple while nursing.

What Is Mastitis? 

Mastitis is an inflammation/infection within the breast tissue. Most common in breastfeeding women, but mastitis can also affect non – breastfeeding women and men. Mastitis can be very painful and if left untreated will create large amounts of puss around the breast tissue. This may result in a surgical procedure being needed to remove the abscess. 

Causes of Mastitis

Depending on what you read, you can find quite a few different causes of mastitis. But ultimately mastitis is a result of bacteria found on the skin and saliva making its way to the breast tissue through a milk duct or crack in the skin. This typically happens from a blocked milk duct in a lactating woman. Being under a lot of stress (which new mom isn’t?) places moms at an increased risk of mastitis. As does having a low iron count. 

Signs & Symptoms of Mastitis

The signs and symptoms of mastitis are often very similar to a blocked milk duct. Only affecting one breast, sometimes a red wedge-shaped mark will develop. I’ve personally experienced red streaking radiating from the affected breast. I also experienced flu-like symptoms such as body aches, a fever and was extremely fatigued. Other symptoms of mastitis can include: 

• Overall feeling of unwellness.
• Nipple discharge, nausea, headaches and chills
• Nausea
• Headaches 
• And chills. 

Breast Engorgement vs Mastitis: How to Tell the Difference 

I’ve been in the same painful position you are, so I know there’s probably one BIG question on your mind: how do I know if I have engorgement or mastitis? As a mom who was once new to breastfeeding I can understand the confusion when it comes to knowing the difference between mastitis and engorgement. Confused as to whether you need antibiotics or a hot towel to soothe the soreness in your breast, because as we all know the quicker we can get the right treatment the better.  

But knowing what to look for can help alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress and potentially stop mastitis from developing. Since prolonged engorgement can lead to a clogged milk duct which ultimately causes mastitis, getting treatment quickly is critual. 

First know the signs of mastitis vs engorgement. While engorgement is painful and can cause a lot of discomfort, it typically does not come on overnight nor does it have flu like symptoms similar to the ones I listed above.

Additionally a hot towel, increased feedings and a breast massage will soon soothe  engorged breasts vs mastitis most likely will require a doctor’s visit. 

Does Engorgement Lead to Mastitis?

While one or two occurrences of engorgement is no cause for worry, such as what is typically within the first few days after birth. If your baby is not emptying your breast well for a prolonged period, getting some assistance from a location consultant may be necessary. I say this because prolonged engorged breast can lead to a blocked milk duct and then potentially mastitis. So the quicker we can get baby draining the breast the better for everyone. 

What’s the Difference Between Engorgement and a Clogged Duct?

One of the more common complaints for breastfeeding mommas is a blocked milk duct. Often the cause of prolonged engorgement, a blocked milk duct feels like a hard lump or wedge within the breast. It can move locations as baby feeds, and the pain can be mild to moderate. Decreasing after feeding. Unlike mastitis, a blocked milk duct is not warm to the touch or show any signs of redness in the affected area. Additionally symptoms of a blocked duct gradually appear and may include: 

• Breast discomfort centralized to one spot. 
• Decreased milk being produced during pumping.
• Stringy or fatty looking lumps in expressed milk.

Does Mastitis Make Your Breast Hard?

Mastitis while breastfeeding can be super frustrating and cause some extreme pain. Accompanied by tenderness of the breast, mastitis causes a lump in the breast tissue. This lump or wedge will be hard and painful. And in some cases it can even be hot and swollen. While engorgement does not cause your breast to get hard this is yet another difference of engorgement vs mastitis.

How I Recovered from Mastitis  

I’ve breastfed five children over the course of 11 years at the writing of this post. In this time I have dealt with mastitis three times. Once with my second child and twice with my last. As I’ve mentioned above the symptoms literally happened over night. I went to sleep with a hard lump in my breast, thinking it was a clogged milk duct. I massaged it with a warm towel before bed. Not getting any relief I decided I would try to pump in between feedings in the morning. 

However, by the time morning came that lump had turned into so much more. It hit me like a ton of bricks each time. I was extremely tired, had a really bad headache and couldn’t breastfeed my child without being in a lot of pain. The first time I ever dealt with mastitis I had no idea what to do. But by the third time I was prepared and got over it without a trip to the doctor. 

What worked for me when treating my mastitis

The name of the game is to try and keep your breast as empty as you can. The fuller your breast gets, the more pain you are in. At least that is what  happened to me. So outside of feeding my son more often than I typically would, I also tried to pump in between nursing. Nothing major, I just tried to make sure I pumped for at least 5 -8 minutes on each breast each time. 

Massaging my breast really seemed to help. What worked best was taking a hot shower before the massage. Pointing the shower head directly on my breast I would massage the lump in a downward motion while the hot water ran down my breast. Once I finished in the shower, using a warm towel I continued to massage my breast for as long as I could tolerate it. Massage can be done manually or with a wide toothed comb. Using oil, HPA Lanolin or soap can help the comb glide smoothly.

Staying hydrated, getting lots of rest and eating well also helped a ton. Each time I experienced mastitis, how long it lasted varied. The first time being a little over a week with me having to get antibiotics from my doctor. While this last time was maybe two days with no appointments or medications needed. 

Tips to Prevent Both Engorgement and Mastitis

Outside of the engorgement most new moms face directly after birth, other reasons you could be experiencing it are baby starting to sleep longer stretches, baby transitioning to solids and not feeding as often or reintroducing breastfeeding after bottle. Which can undoubtedly come with its own sets of challenges. 

And while most of these situations are out of your control, there are ways to prevent engorgement and mastitis during these times. In the beginning when you and baby are just learning how to latch, feed, and empty the breast properly, your body is also learning how much milk it needs to produce. One way to prevent engorgement directly after birth is to make sure to  initiate feeding in a timely manner. So at the first sign of hunger cues, if possible. I personally like to have a timer/alarm. Feeding my newborns every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 at night. 

Seeking help with positioning and latch during feeding is another way to prevent engorgement. Lactations consultants typically work in hospitals and are available 24/7 if assistance is needed. If you’re having a home birth your midwife can offer advice and assistance in the days following your birth as well. Most make home visits! 

Finally, having a well fitted, loose bra does wonders. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I was with my first trying to figure out breastfeeding and dealing with a wired nursing bra. I hated it! Later on I also learned that tighter fitting bras (or bras that put pressure on the breast) can cause engorged breasts or a clogged milk duct. Yet another reason to grab some super soft and super comfy nursing bras that allow for easy unrestricted nursing. 

Conclusion

Most of the preventative measures I listed above can work just as well for mastitis, engorgement or a clogged duct.  However, wherever you find yourself on your breastfeeding journey, dealing with mastitis vs engorgement or even a clogged milk duct, remember to: 

• Rest when baby rest 
• Nurse from the affected breast first 
• Moist heat, such as a warm washcloth, and massage before and after feeding will help decrease pain 
• Same as above (moist heat and massage) during a nursing session to help drain any blockage in the ducts
• Pumping in between feeds if possible 
• Cold compresses after nursing to help with swelling 
• And pain medications / anti-inflammatory meds can help too (consult your doctor first) 

Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, but that does not mean there aren’t pros and cons to it. There are days where your patience will be tested, you’ll long for control of your body back and you’ll definitely wish you could sleep like your S.O. sleeps for just once. All in all though, once this journey has come to an end you’ll hopefully look back fondly and be proud of the sacrifices you made. And enjoy the amazing bond you’ve created with your little one. 

The post How to Tell the Difference Between Engorgement vs Mastitis appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

Moments and experiences are what we hold on to. Stuff can only make someone happy for so long. Soon after receiving a gift, it’s long forgotten. Instead of giving things that may end up broken or lost, gift experience based presents for Christmas to make lasting memories with those you hold closest. 

What Exactly Is an Experience Gift?

 If you are a minimalist then this will be right up your alley. 

Sometimes also called experiential gifting, presenting an experience based gift instead of a physical one is a way to give more than just material things.

Instead of spending hours running from store to story on Black Friday looking for the perfect gift. People are prioritizing memories over things and it’s a wonderful thing to witness in person. 

Why Gift Experiences This Christmas Instead of Traditional Presents? 

Experiences in many ways are priceless, as they help shape who we are as individuals and give us broader perspectives in life.

Creating memorable experiences that’ll allow you to live life to the fullest is what life is about. So many people regret not experiencing more in life, as opposed to not buying more. 

Moving away from buying more things creates potential for memories that can bring you and those you love closer. 

What are the best experience gifts? I’ve put together a list of some of our favorites as well as some I have on my bucket list. After doing tons of research on this I’ve seen some amazing ideas and can’t wait to share them. So let’s jump right in. 

Best Christmas Gift Experiences for Kids

Depending on the age of your child, what’s considered the “best” can differ drastically. With that in mind this list will have a variety of fun experiences for Christmas gifts for all ages. There will be some experience gifts perfect for toddlers, some best for school age, teenagers and of course a few for all ages. 

1. Day Trip to the Children’s Museum 

Children’s Museums are great family activity christmas gifts. Good for all ages, you are sure to have some fun and a little bit of learning too. Children’s museums often have tons to do the weeks before and after Christmas, so this is a perfect opportunity to make the most out of this gift. 

2. A Crafts Subscription Box 

The gift that keeps on giving. Subscription boxes are the perfect experience gift because you’ll get something new each month to create. Bring back the same joy and excitement as when they opened their first box. Make it even more special by creating with your kiddo. 

3. Night at the Theater

Did you know you can rent out the movie theaters now? I bet you also didn’t know you can bring your own gaming console and hook it up to the screen. Talk about playing in HD! Could you imagine the look on any kid’s face when they walk into the theater and realize it’s been rented out just for them.

4. Zoo Trip

Animals make everything fun so a trip to the zoo is always a good time. Plus this is a great gift that can quickly turn into a family tradition for parents and baby. Even more so during Christmas since most zoos have so much to offer. Things like Christmas with the animals, one on one with animal trainers and other special experiences. Pro tip, get a membership and you can get even more great perks. 

5. Adventure of Their Choice 

I’ve seen this done a few ways. From granting your child a “Yes” day where you aren’t allowed to say no. No matter how outrageous the idea. To ask them what the best day ever would look like to them and making it happen. Whatever path you decide to take, this is one of those unique gift experiences they’ll never forget. 

6. Theme Park Vacation 

Theme parks never go out of style and there is always something for everyone. From toddlers to teenagers, the variety of rides and activities at any given theme park are sure to please your whole family. 

Wondering how to go about giving this experience? I’m always down for a surprise, so I’d say pack the kiddos in the car and don’t tell them where you are going until you arrive. 

7. A Day Getting All Dolled Up with the Girls 

What princess wouldn’t love this. Especially if, like my daughter, they spend most of their days being the only girl in a house full of her brothers. 

Invite all her friends over, lay out the pretend make up and dress up clothes and let them have at it. Don’t forget tons of snacks, all the best movies, and a no boys allowed policy to really bring this gift to life! 

8. Special Lunch with a Family Member 

Planning a special lunch with their favorite person adds a little extra touch that is sure to make them smile. Ask the family member to go the extra mile, if they’re able. Then have your baby get all dressed up as if going on a date and make sure they are picked up in style. 

9. One-on-One Time with Mom and Dad 

Think of something special that particular child would love to do or let them decide. Heck, you don’t even have to leave the house. Carving out time to sit and watch a movie together or chat about what’s been going on in their life can be just as special. 

10. Visit to the Rock Climbing Wall or Trampoline Park 

Places like Fearless, SkyZone or any others kill two birds with one stone. Get all that energy out AND make some great memories with you and your babies. Don’t be afraid to climb up that wall or jump with them. 

11. “Coupon” to Summer Camp 

This is a cute idea that can be delivered in a few ways. A homemade coupon book with lots of options including one for summer camp. Or maybe you put together a box of things your child would need for a summer camp. These could be put into their own individual envelopes and decorated. Then the final envelope could have a flyer about a summer camp. 

12. Scavenger Hunt 

One of my favorites and a great Christmas morning tradition. Take the borning out of the present opening by creating a scavenger hunt for the presents. Or maybe a hunt filled with clues to the location you plan to take them to, or a scavenger hunt outside that ends in a big prize. There are so many possibilities and all of them are sure to be loads of fun. 

13. BFF Sleepover

Have you seen those cute sleepovers that involve tents for everyone and all the cute robes / coordinated gifts? Man I wish there was something similar when I was a kid. It looks like so much fun and I am sure any kid would have a blast. 

Experience Gifts for Mom or Dad

This has to be in my favorite top 10 experience gifts of all time. And it’s not because I’m a mom. Well maybe a little, lol. 

14. A Day Off

As a mother we all know how valuable a day off can be. But have you ever thought of giving dad one too. Funny thing, my husband and I just discussed this the other day. As much as he tries to make sure I have self care time and alone time it truly never dawned on me that he needed the same. So this is a great gift for either mom or dad. Or maybe grandparents can give both of you a break! 

15. Spa Day

If you’re scratching your head looking for a Christmas experience gift for mom, look no further. Just the thought of a relaxing massage, a nice foot rub and a facial has me so excited. Get a gift certificate to a spa close to you or find someone to come to your home. You could make it even more special and try to do all these things on your own. 

16. Golf Trip 

If you live near a golf course this is an exciting experience to give. Most even have golf clubs you can rent. Not really into golfing, you don’t have to be. With places like Top Golf they’ve made it way more fun! 

17. Romantic Dinner at Home Cooked by You

Set the mood with some candles and soft music playing in the background. Dinner at home can be better than going out to a restaurant. Make sure to still get dressed up as if you were heading out to add to the experience. Pro tip, if you aren’t that great of a cook, have something delivered and plate it. 

18. Book a Ride in a Hot Rod 

Old school cars are so much fun. Not only is it cool to learn the history behind that particular vehicle but most owners have some amazing stories to tell about how they obtained their cars. And you’d be surprised how many are willing to rent out or chauffeur people around. 

19. Night at the Hotel 

There’s nothing like spending the night in a hotel, leaving all your worries behind. Having someone else be responsible for cleaning up, making the bed and even breakfast. If this isn’t the perfect Christmas gift for any mom or day, I don’t know what is. 

20. Gear to Use with Their Favorite Hobby 

Maybe she wants to learn to sew or he would love to take care of the yard more. Even if you can’t get them everything they would need, investing even a little could be the start to something amazing. 

21. Food Tour

Perfect for any foodie on your list, or anyone really. I mean who doesn’t like eating. And if it means the kids are left at home, any parent is going to be down! 

Buy gift cards to a few different restaurants around town so they can do so at their leisure. Or spend the day taking them from restaurant to restaurant trying all the yummy goodies! Depending on if they are an introvert or extrovert I’m sure this is one gift that is sure to be appreciated. 

22. Dinner Cruise 

A great way to experience all the amazing food a city has to offer. Send them on a dinner cruise in a different city or even an exotic location. With tons of options in almost every major destination across the globe, this is sure to be a sweet journey no matter where you go.  Averaging around 2-4 hours this is definitely something you’d want to do with someone. 

23. Game Night with the Whole Family

Twister, Monopoly, Scrabble, throw in some charades and it’s bound to be a great time! Not in to board games or want to switch it up, Nintendo Switch offers tons of multiplayer games like Mario Party or Super Smash Bros. Oh, I can’t forget to mention the newest game that is all over TikTok at the moment, What do you meme! 

24. Be Their Housekeeper for a Day 

For those that have no time to clean their own homes or could use some help, a clean home could be the perfect gift. They may not consider paying for a cleaner themselves, but gifting them that service could be greatly appreciated!

The best part about this is there are so many ways to make this happen. You can do the cleaning yourself. Or you can hire companies such as Molly Maid to give a helping hand. Keep in mind that a lot of maid services do not do dishes or laundry. But services like SudShare can help with some of that. 

25. Pottery Lesson 

This is one of the few Christmas gift experiences I wish someone would give me. I’m tired of getting lopsided cups and bowls from my kids. I’d love to make my own hot mess bowl that can’t hold anything more than the keys and a few paperclips, lol. No, seriously I love my kids and all the wonderful things they make for me. 

Find a local pottery and grab that gift certificate. This is a unique gift that could potentially turn into a new found hobby! 

26. Hunting Excursion with Dad

For the dads that love guns, hunting and all things outdoors gifting him a weekend away in the woods would make his day. Consider getting  him a cabin supplied with all the food and supplies he’d need. Surprise him with all his guy friends and try not to call him for the first few hours, lol. 

27. Day Out with the Grandkids

Active grandparents are God’s gift to parents. Especially when they love their grandkids as much (if not more than) they love their own. This one can be considered a gift for all parties involved. Mom and dad get a break and grandparents get to make some memories while enjoying their grandbabies. 

Christmas Gift Experiences for Couples

If you’re a part of the couple or you happen to know a few, these gift experiences for Christmas should both bring on the romance and make magical memories. 

Make each numbered idea an H3 and provide brief (2-3 sentences) of discussion for each:

28. All Expense Paid For Date Night 

Whether gifting for your person or a couple you know, no one ever said no to a date night. Grab tickets to the movies, find a special restaurant (maybe one that has some significance), and end the night with a stroll through the park eating dessert. 

29. Fancy Picnic Setup 

 A picnic in the park or even your own backyard can be the perfect experience for couples. It’s such a romantic and fun way to spend a few hours together. Pack some of your favorites, some drinks, don’t forget the treats.  And enjoy some peaceful time outside together. 

30. Book a Couples Massage 

It doesn’t matter if you’re male, female, old, young, healthy or unhealthy,everyone loves a massage. Add in experiencing it with your partner and make it even better. 

31. Guided Tour of Little Known Spots in their City 

Have a couple who loves to travel on your list. No matter how long they’ve lived in their city, there are bound to be places or things they’ve never experienced. Book a tour of the city’s most historic spots, some of the best tea shops or bookstores. An Art District would be another great spot to take a closer look at, as those areas are often ever changing with new installations, pop up shops and more. 

32. Fun Couples Photo Shoot 

Who doesn’t want some adorable images of them with their loved ones. It really doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a few nice photos that they can have for themselves. Who knows, they may end up using them for a save the date one day! 

33. Romantic Wine Tour

A weekend away tasting delicious wines from different vineyards could be the perfect gift for any wine connoisseur couple. Make sure to check if the vineyard has Christmas gift vouchers for couples. 

34. Sushi-Making Class 

62% of Americans love sushi so if you have a sushi lover on your list this is perfect for them. Let them immerse themselves in this Japanese cuisine for the day. 

35. Fondue Night 

For the cheese or chocolate lover on your list, a Fondue Night would be perfect. Not limited to fruit, dip meat, cheese, marshmallows or whatever else you can think of in your Fondue. 

36. Weekend Campsite Rental

Outdoorsy couples are sure to love this. Camping or even glamping for the weekend can be an adventurous way to get some rest and relaxation. With so many options, from renting cabins or paying for campsites, to trying out tiny homes or even decked out tents, RV’s and school buses.

37. Horse & Carriage Ride 

Not just a valentine’s date idea, horse and carriage rides can be just as beautiful during the winter months. Snow topped buildings surrounded by twinkling Christmas lights is the perfect backdrop for a romantic Christmas gift. 

38. Murder Mystery Dinner Show 

For any Law and Order, First 48 or other crime shows, a murder mystery dinner is sure to be up their alley. Some shows even allow audience participation. Which means, whomever you gift this to could very well end up being the criminal! 

39. Itinerary for a Natural Trail Hike 

Getting to enjoy the outdoors, exploring new places and having time together, yes please! Add in a picnic basket filled with goodies to turn this up a notch. 

Ideas for Everyone Else on Your Christmas List (Him, Her, Families & Coworkers)

This next set of experiences as Christmas gifts are perfect for anyone. No matter how you know them or what they’re into, there is sure to be something for everyone. 

40. A Cooking Class

If your friend or someone you know is a foodie, this would be the perfect gift. Even better that most can now be found online! They can learn chocolate making, cake decorating, bread making, vegan cheese making, fermenting or how to cook a specific meal all from the comfort of their own home.

41. Fishing Day with a Friend 

If you have a friend who loves fishing, this is the perfect Christmas gift experience for him. There’s no better way to reel in the best present then when he snags that Big Mouth Bass to hang on his wall! 

42. Tickets to Their Favorite Sports Team Event 

Nothing compares to seeing a live game of your favorite sport. If you have a huge sports fan on your list, consider gifting them tickets to the next local game. 

43. A Painting Class 

Have you heard of the painting classes where you can paint, have yummy appetizers, and sip on champagne? I’ve been to a few and they are SO much fun. This is great for someone who may not know how to paint freehand but still wants to give painting a try. 

44. Online Course That Teaches a Skill

With so many different courses / classes offered online —like the dance lessons, DJing, learning a new language to voice lessons for those that want to try their hand at music. 

45. Paintball Excursion 

Think of a Nerf Gun war but for adults! Paintbull is the best way for the recipient to practice their camouflaging skills while simultaneously working on their aim. 

46. Bowling Gift Certificate

No matter your level of expertise, bowling is fun for everyone. Most bowling alleys have arcades and great bar food, so you’ll still have a blast. Don’t forget your socks!

47. Escape Room Night 

This is such a great experience to gift. Escape Rooms have been gaining in popularity for a long time now. And they can be so much fun with a group of friends. With an array of different options, this is a gift that anyone on your list can enjoy.

48. Orchestra Tickets 

From classical music to hip hop, tickets to the orchestra can intrigue anyone. The genre of music that you can find being played by your local theater are endless. 

49. Zoo Membership 

Know an animal lover? Most annual zoo memberships end up paying for themselves in the first trip or two. Plus they often come with extra perks like special member only days and discounts. 

50. Concert Tickets

Got a music lover on your list? Tickets to their favorite artist’s next concert will surely make them smile. Add a band tee for some extra fun. 

51. Gift Card for Ice Skating 

Ice skating is a great gift for any age. Children love it and adults can live out their childhood dreams of being a figure skater like Jill Trenary. Oh, was that just me, lol. Regardless if they used to try and ice skate on their frozen driveways or not, gifting someone a gift card for ice skating is sure to make them smile. 

52. Project-Based Subscription Box 

Subscription boxes have really changed over the years and there are so many to choose from. Boxes for those who love the arts or getting crafty, to boxes for history junkies. Just make sure whatever you gift, it’s not just another item 

No matter who you have on your list, there is an experience gift fit for everyone. Did I miss any of your favorite Christmas gift experiences? Let me know!”

The post Best Christmas Gift Experiences for Everyone on Your List appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

Having a new baby means not only starting your own family but also starting your own traditions. And having Christmas traditions to start with your new baby that the whole family will enjoy can bring an extra bit of magic to those memorial years.  So if you’re looking for how to celebrate baby’s first Christmas in a fun and exciting way, look no further. I’ve put together a list of some of my favorite traditions that are sure to bring some magic to your Christmas. 

Tradition #1: Make a Handprint Ornament Each Year Starting with Baby’s 1st Christmas

I can’t think of anything sweeter than hanging baby’s 1st Christmas ornament on your tree year after year. And if you continue with the tradition as they grow you’ll be able to watch as their hands grow and change. After they turn 18 don’t forget to compare their last to the very first if you really want to turn on the water works. 

Tradition #2: Knit Baby’s 1st Stocking & Use to Teach Them How to Knit as They Grow

Knitting is something I’ve always wanted to learn, especially since its something my grandmother used to love and passed down to my mother. Unfortunately for me, its not something she nor my mother will be able to teach me, but if you are a knitter then this is for you. Making your baby’s first christmas stocking can hold so many memories. You can start it while you’re pregnant so it’s complete by the time you give birth. As they get older continue knitting and teach your child how to knit with it as well. If kept in well enough condition it can soon be something that is passed down from generation to generation. 

Tradition #3: Make Meaningful Christmas Eve Boxes for Each Other 

I love this idea as a tradition to start from their very first Christmas and onward. Putting together a box of things that are special to you and baby each year is the sweetest thing. Make sure to take pictures, or even keep them so as they grow you can look back at each year. It’s almost like a Christmas time capsule. 

Tradition #4: Take Yearly Christmas Light Car Ride Tours

This is one of those Christmas activities for babies that everyone can enjoy. We started doing this on Christmas eve each year and our children look forward to it. Some cities (we’ve moved more times in the last three years than I’d care to admit) even have drive-through Christmas lights that you can pay to attend. These are typically a few miles long and have some of the most extravagant light setups I’ve ever seen. 

If you’re looking for a free version of this, check out Facebook to see if there are any groups that coordinate with homes who do light shows. When we lived in California I joined a few groups so I always knew where the best light displays for the year were going to be. We found some amazing houses that way. One neighborhood did a drive through type of display with a theme.  Each house on the block participated and it was always our favorite stop. 

Tradition #5: Make Your Own Advent Calendar Each Year

Advent Calendars are a popular tradition associated with Christmas. And making your own is sure to bring this activity even more meaning. There are a number of ways to make these. From purchasing a premade book to collecting things like toilet paper roll holders. The possibilities are endless here. Fill it with candy, toys or anything else you like and have fun with it! 

Tradition #6: Snap a “Gift Bow on the Head” Picture in the Same Place of Your Home 

This is the quintessential picture of a baby pulling a bow off one of their presents and sticking it on their head. What a cute tradition to keep up year after year and watch them grow. May I add the bigger the bow, the cuter the picture. 

Tradition #7: Start an Elf on the Shelf Alternative

Confession time, I’ve never been a fan of Elf on the Shelf. The thought of some toy doing random things around my house in order to convince my children to behave just didn’t sit well with me. So when thinking of ideas to make Christmas with baby memorable I knew an Elf wouldn’t be one of them. But what could you do instead? 

I found so many alternatives. A few of them have the same idea behind them and others are really cool. For example these North Pole Ninjas are too adorable and I couldn’t get over how creative this Little Lamb of Bethlehem is. Encouraging children to serve others and learn about the birth of Jesus. My momma heart is so happy. 

Tradition #8: Get Matching Holiday-Themed Pajamas for the Whole Family 

This is something I wish I had started sooner. It is so fun looking back on the years previous to see how much our family has grown. Both in size and amount of children, lol. I also get a kick out of seeing how our pajama styles differ with each passing year. While I typically pick an overall theme / color I allow the kids to pick the style of pajamas they want. My daughter loves a dress but surprised us one year and went for a onesie. All in all, this is probably my top things to do with my children as they grow and makes a great Christmas morning tradition as well. 

Tradition #9: Pop Open Christmas Crackers at the Christmas Meal 

So this is a tradition I needed to do a little research on. Started in London by a wedding cake baker, this tradition has spread far and wide across the United Kingdom and other commonwealth countries. If you’re like me and always looking for ways to turn things into a learning experience this is a great way to do so. Including a little history lesson, cultural and diversity lesson all while learning to serve and love others, yes please! 

To give a little more information, these crackers are used as table decorations that make a snapping sound when pulled open. Often containing small gifts, a paper hat and a joke they take two people to pull apart. 

Tradition #10: Serve at a Soup Kitchen Together

Don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not, but I am all about teaching my children to serve others. Especially when it comes to the holidays. There are so many who are less fortunate than us and it is my goal to help my children understand that just because someone is in a bad spot in their life does not mean they are less than us. As we all know, any major life event can have us in less than ideal situations. 

But how do you do this with a baby? Wouldn’t this be easier to start once they get a little older? If you want, sure, but my solution mama can wear the baby in an infant sling for the first year or two!

Tradition #11: Start a “Year in the Life” Journal

Of course, you’ll have to pen the first few years of their journal, but they’ll be able to pick up their own journal entries around age 5 or 6. Even just cute little scribbles are fun to look back on! And once they reach adulthood passing these on to them to cherish will be greatly appreciated I’m sure. 

Tradition #12: Make Homemade Christmas Cards (Baby’s Handprint Will Suffice!)

There are so many precious moments to be had with this one. Of course, in the beginning sticking to something easy like baby’s handprint. But once your little one grows bigger its the perfect time to get more adventurous. As they learn to write, having them sign their name or write out Merry Christmas is sure to make whomever you send these cards to smile extra big. 

Tradition #13: Enjoy a Local Christmas Parade 

High on my list of things to do for baby’s first Christmas is a Christmas Parade. Always a huge fan of Macy’s Christmas Day parade in New York I would love to visit with my family one year. In the meantime, finding a local Christmas parade has been so much fun for us. The excitement of getting up early, packing snacks, and spending time together dancing and laughing as we watch floats / all the characters drive past has been unmatched. It’s definitely something to do with the whole family if you can. Or even give as a Christmas gift experience if you’re planning to move away from presents. 

Tradition #15: Bake & Decorate Cookies for Santa

While Santa may actually be mom or dad, baby doesn’t have to know that. And depending on the age of your little one, you can start off with premade cookies that you only have to pop in the oven. Then once they get a little older and can help bake, making them from scratch will be a great bonding experience for the whole family. 

Tradition #16: Make a Holiday Bucket List with the New Baby (& Cross an Item Off Each Year)

Another favorite tradition for 1st Christmas ideas of mine. What I love most about this is that the list can be ever evolving. As your family changes and baby grows, allow them to have some input. The pure enjoyment to be had from checking each thing off will serve as a wonderful memory within itself. Family traditions like these create the kind of moments that children remember for a lifetime. 

Tradition #17: Start a Family Sleepover Night on Christmas Eve 

One of those perfect Christmas traditions to start with a newborn. Just imagine all the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents celebrating Christmas eve together. Sharing stories, presents, cookies and hot chocolate in a room filled with love. I can’t think of a better tradition to start with your family. And it’s bound to build lasting bonds and magical moments for everyone. 

If you are able to include extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles) consider having each family wear their own Christmas pjs. How cute would it be to have five different families depicted in your holiday pictures in their own pjs each year. One family is all red, another in striped green and white and yet another in the buffalo red and black pjs. Just too adorable. And then maybe consider switching up the locations from year to year as well. 

Tradition #18: Start the Want, Need, Wear, Read Tradition Early

We started this tradition last year and honestly, I wish we had started sooner. If you’re looking for easy and relaxed Christmas gift traditions to start with baby this is the perfect one. It makes gift giving that much easier, especially as they get older. Not only that, but it helps to drown out all the extra noise around stuff. I’ve never seen my children so excited about getting socks as they were last year. 

The way their faces lit up when they opened their presents really shocked me. I had asked each of them what they thought they needed and each one replied with new socks. First, can we get into how they are taking ownership of their own wardrobe at such young ages. But also the pure gratitude when they received exactly what they asked for. Priceless for sure.  

If you’re thinking of starting this but worried your child may feel left out, they won’t. It’s been the best decision for us and my children have grown more appreciative of their things. They’ve even been taking better care of said things. Win Win to me! 

All in all, if you’re a new momma looking for Christamas traditions to start with your new baby, I hope this list gives you a pretty good starting point. There are so many things you can do here, but don’t be afraid to come up with your own. You know your family best so do what is going to work best for you and them. No matter what Christmas traditions you come up with, your baby is going to be happy just spending time with you. 

Are there any Christmas traditions I’ve forgotten about? What are some of your favorite family traditions? Leave a comment below!

The post 18 Memory-Making Traditions to Start on Baby’s First Christmas appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

Creating Christmas morning traditions for the whole family can help make it one of the most magical days of the entire year. Moments filled making memories not soon to be forgotten, with activities that can be passed down through generations, are priceless. Presents come second when time together is encouraged and prioritized. 

Establishing family traditions is a great way to bond with one another. While all children love getting a new toy, that excitement can soon wear off. Whereas years from now they can look back on their childhood with fondness as they reminisce on their favorite Christmas mornings with mom.  

But with technology consuming so much of our daily lives, how do you get them away from the tablets and tv’s long enough to make these memories? Easy, threaten to take everything away, lol. No, seriously that is a complete joke. Instead emphasize with them. Let them know you understand how fun and exciting beating that high score on their favorite game can be. Or how much you too like catching up on your shows. And then invite them to collaborate with you. Take a look at the list below and ask them what they’d like to do. Don’t be afraid to compromise. I do this often with my oldest. 

This may look like saying, if you can give me “X” amount of your time to try out this new Christmas morning family tradition with us, you can have “X” amount of time on your tablet. Let me insert my disclaimer that this may or may not work. Heck, it only sometimes works for my own kid. But what I have found is that being more collaborative instead of authoritative always gets me better results. 

So give it a shot if you’re up to it. Look over these ideas, pick a few that sound like a good fit for your family. Then ask them to vote on their favorite. I mean, I’m sure it will do more harm than good. 

1. Read the Christmas Story 

From adults to toddlers, it’s important to remember what Christmas is all about. Books like these help remind us of the reason for the season. Sorry to use that corny cliche there but it fits so well, lol. 

Seriously, reading books together, especially if you start young, creates a special bonding time for you and your littles. Add in a miracle such as the Christmas Story and it’s just a match made in heaven. Which is why I think this is a perfect Christmas tradition to start with baby. 

2. Christmas Breakfast Tradition Ideas

Christmas morning breakfast traditions are a fun way to celebrate. I mean, who doesn’t like food! They do say it’s the way to the heart. So why not include a fun Christmas breakfast tradition for your family. Some of my favorites are listed below:

Christmas Tree or Rudolph Pancakes

You can literally make just about anything out of pancakes. From famous landmarks to your child’s favorite Christmas character. And no need to fret if you aren’t super artsy. You can literally find anything on Amazon. Just look at this pancake pan and this waffle kit even comes with food grade markers to make your pancakes even more realistic. Decorate them yourself or let your kiddos join in on the fun. Either way, I’m sure you’ll have some delicious pancakes when it’s all said and done!

Breakfast Casserole

This is my mother in law’s favorite Christmas morning tradition. And she’s been making, or even buying, breakfast casseroles for as long as I’ve known my husband. Which is going on 13 years. 

If you’re like me and casseroles really aren’t your go to dish, I’ve found this recipe that not only looks easy but so tasty! 

Not really in the mood to cook? Hey, it happens. Plus If your kids are anything like mine, having someone ask you a million times if they can “help” may not sound too appealing. No judgment on my end. I get it. I did mention that my mother in law also buys her casseroles from time to time. From Costco, if anyone is interested. 

And before you think, but isn’t this supposed to be about making memories, you can make just as many memories eating together as you can cooking together.  

Cinnamon Rolls and Sausage

Cinnamon rolls are a staple in my home. So any chance we get to cook them we jump at. This is a yummy breakfast that offers a lot of variety in how you cook it. Turn it into a casserole, keep it simple or make a delicious breakfast sandwich. Whatever you decide, include the kids (if you can) and have a great time. 

Snowman Waffles

Seriously, what could be cuter? Super easy to make, you can get as creative as you’d like. Add some powder sugar and fruit for a more realistic approach. Layer some mini waffles and turn it into a waffle sandwich. And you can even forget pretzels for arms. Truly the ideas are endless with this one. 

Not into breakfast or cooking in general, don’t worry. There’s so many other ways to create some magical memories for your family on Christmas morning. 

3. Cook Extra & Take to an Elderly Neighbor

In my experience, the best Christmas morning traditions are the ones that put others first. I’ve learned first hand how important it is to serve others as often as possible. But especially when it comes to the elderly. There is so much to be learned from others who’ve been here longer than we have. And most older neighbors love getting time with young children. It truly warms their hearts. And if you don’t have an elderly neighbor close by, consider visiting a nursing home.  Sadly there are so many elders whose family can’t visit them often. If you go this route, just make sure to check with the staff about any outside food policies they may have. 

4. Take a Christmas Morning Family Photo

This is a must-do tradition for families on Christmas day. Don’t take it too seriously though. No need to hire a professional photographer. Although you can if you’d like. 

With the way most of these cameras are set up on our phones, a good tripod is all you’ll need. Then when the kids are older you can look back and literally watch them grow up. And maybe even challenge them to recreate your favorite ones! 

5. Create & Play a Christmas Morning Playlist of Family-Favorite Songs

Christmas carols, family dance parties, the possibilities are endless with this one. Waking up to the sounds of your favorite Christmas songs, running downstairs and being greeted by your family and a yummy breakfast. I mean, could you ask for anything else. Make sure to let everyone pick one of their favorite songs to be included on the list and watch the magic happen. 

6. Decorate a Gingerbread House

Sometimes leaving your house is more hassle than you’d care to tackle, especially on a holiday. Again no judgment as I have five kids and stay home whenever the opportunity arises. So what to do on Christmas day at home? Gingerbread houses are always super easy to find, come in a variety of shapes and sizes and are a breeze to put together. We’ve made a few in our time and the kids love getting creative with their food. We’ve gone so far as to build our own village once. And they are always so excited to eat them once they’re done. 

7. Open Presents with a Twist!

Don’t be afraid to get creative with the presents. There are tons of ways to turn this somewhat boring part of Christmas into something amazing. It’s okay, you can admit watching your kids rip off the wrapping paper it took you hours to fold just right, isn’t the most exciting part of the day. Or is that just me. 

Christmas Gift Scavenger Hunt

Who says all the presents have to be under the tree? Turning present opening into a scavenger hunt is a great interactive way to amp up the fun. Especially if you’re looking for a new way to introduce experiences for gifts. 

To do this, start by hiding all the gifts. You may want to start with one under the tree, but that’s completely optional. From there write out clues or hints that will help your kiddos figure out where to go to find their next present. Add these clues to the presents. The idea here is to have a clue that leads to another present. You can create a time limit or leave it untimed, completely up to you. Make it even more fun by starting off by putting a clue in the bed next to them while they sleep. So as soon as they wake up they can start the hunt for their presents. 

White Elephant Game

Such a fun game and bound to bring about some good laughs. The White Elephant game is where one person starts with a gift but can end up with a completely different gift by the end of the game. 

The way it works is that one person will open a wrapped gift. From there each additional person gets a turn and can either open a wrapped gift or steal one from someone else who has already opened a gift.  If your gift gets stolen you can either open a new gift or steal one from someone else. 

Dirty Santa Game 

Another fun game, this one is sure to bring all the laughs. Find as many weird, crazy gag gifts as you can. Wrap them and then assign a number to each of them. Now each person in the family picks a number and wraps their crazy gifts. Add an extra dose of fun by allowing negotiation for the best gift. Sure to get lots of laughs and confusion. 

Christmas “Hot Potato”

This one takes me back to elementary school so it holds a lot of nostalgia for me. To play hot potato as a family, have everyone sit in a circle. Start some music, that Christmas Morning playlist from above would definitely come in handy here. Make sure to have someone in charge of stopping and starting the music randomly. Next pass a gift around the circle until the music stops. When it does, whoever has the gift gets to open it and keep it. Have that person exit the circle and start again. Keep going until everyone has a gift. 

The Christmas Pinata

This one can serve a dual purpose. Piñatas are a common element in parties across different countries and especially in Mexico around Christmas time. The story of their origin combines cultures, traditions and religions. So this is a great way to bring in some education, teaching about other cultures and diversity, while still having fun. 

If you aren’t sure what to put in your pinata, go beyond candy. Small toys, mini balls, erasers, pencil, necklaces, mini bags of cookies, plastic toy rings and so much more. Honestly just raid the dollar section at Target or Walmart as most of those items would be perfect. 

8. Set Up a Christmas Morning Hot Cocoa Bar 

This is such a fun Christmas morning tradition. Who doesn’t love hot chocolate! Plus it’s so easy to put together. Fill your bar with marshmallows, a variety of hot chocolate options and of course you can’t forget peppermints! Grab some peppermint straws to stir the hot coco with. Have a few different sizes and colors of marshmallows, and whatever else you can think of to make this a unique family experience. I personally love those Andes mint chocolate candies so of course there’d be tons of those as well as any other candies my family may love. 

9. Donate Gifts to Your Local Shelter

I started this a few years ago with my kids and its something we’ve come to look forward to. And there’s actually a few ways we do this. A few weeks before Christmas the kids will go through all of their things and decide what they want to keep versus give away. This not only includes toys, but also clothes, shoes and anything else they may want to donate. 

We also make sure to allow our kids to Christmas shop for other families. Taking them to different stores to pick out gifts for children that we then donate to various charities / organizations. As I mentioned before I found out a long time ago that serving others brings my heart great joy and I hope to instill the same in my children. 

10. Write a Family Gratitude List

Always important to remember all the things we have to be thankful for, so why not make a list. This is a great way to reflect on all the blessings your family has received that year. And can serve as a reminder of how far you’ve come. It’s especially cute to display it somewhere in your house until next year.

What Are Your Favorite Christmas Morning Traditions?

After reviewing this list I hope it’s gotten your creative juices flowing. Even if you didn’t like what you saw here, my hope is that you can start a Christmas morning tradition for your family that is sure to make it magical. 

How do you make Christmas morning special? Are there any traditions that I forgot to mention? Leave them in the comments below!

The post Top 10 Christmas Morning Traditions to Start with Your Family appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

Would you believe me if I told you I’ve moved my family across the country on more than one occasion? Well I have and I’m here to give you all the tips for moving out of state with your family. Easily, I might add. No matter if you have one child or five. Check out these options to keep your move organized, stress free, and dare I say it. A little bit of fun too! 

My 18-Step Checklist for Moving Out of State

As someone who has done this a few times, what can I say, I’m a little indecisive. I’ve failed enough times to know what does and does not work. Especially when it comes to moving out of state for the first time with your family. Whether you are gearing up to move within the next few months or just putting it on your radar, with these tips for moving out of state for the first time you’ll be prepared no matter the situation. 

1. Determine Housing Before You Move 

Hi, I’m Jazmyne and the first time I moved my family across the country we had no housing lined up. Don’t be like Jazmyne. 

I know, you probably read that and immediately thought, well of course not. Which is the same thought I had the second time we decided to move. But I’m willing to admit that the first time, not so much. Oh, to be young and optimistic again, lol. 

I just knew we’d get to our new home state and instantly find a home. And if not, staying in a hotel for a few weeks couldn’t hurt. Boy was I wrong. Moving my family of five to the state with the highest cost of living, the largest population of homeless people, and the highest rate of housing scams thinking I’d be able to find the perfect home was definitely partly insane. Well most of that is due to poor planning and an insane amount of naiveness on my part. But you live and you learn, nonetheless. 

One of the challenges of moving to a new state is not being completely informed about everything. I mean, no matter how much research you do, there are just some things you aren’t going to know, until well, you’re smack dead in a situation you didn’t plan for. So it’s always best to plan ahead as much as you can. To somewhat mitigate the chances of any super stressful situations from occurring. 

2. Research Cost of Living Differences and Plan Accordingly 

This is definitely something that can be a shocker to your system if you’re aren’t ready for it. When we first moved to California, well I had a pretty good idea there would be a difference, it wasn’t until I got there that it truly hit me. I mean they have a bottle tax for crying out loud. They literally charge you a tax everytime you purchase any plastic bottles. Now this can be recouped by recycling, but with that being the main way a lot of the homeless population makes money, lets just say the lines can get pretty lengthy. 

Either way, my advice for moving out of state is to make a spreadsheet. Compare the gas prices, the housing prices, shoot the grocery prices while you’re at it. Then calculate how much you spend on those items now (weekly, monthly and yearly) and compare it to what it will be (for those same increments) in your new state. I suggest doing this prior to nailing down any salaries or employment if you can. As it will give you a better picture of what you truly need to be making to live comfortably once you’ve relocated. 

3. Visit the Location Before Moving if Possible

If you are moving family out of state, then this is key. Our latest move to North Carolina actually sparked because of a visit we did prior to moving. Our intentions at the time were just to spend the week there for our ten year olds birthday. But we loved it so much we decided to move. Even more important, our children loved it so much they wanted to move too! 

4. Book Your Moving Company and Supplies Early 

On our move back to Indiana from California, we learned this the hard way. Look, when I said I’d made ALL the mistakes, I meant it. We booked our movers about two weeks before our actual move in date and it was by far the worst experience I’ve ever had. 

The movers did a bait and switch on us. (if you are unfamiliar with that, it’s where they give you one rate over the phone or initially and then show up and double, if not triple it, in hopes that you’ll just pay it out of fear of losing all your stuff.) 

But I’m one to learn from my mistakes, so for our move from Indiana to North Carolina, I booked with U-Haul. From having all the supplies we needed, to multiple options on how to actually move our belongings, Uhual made the moving process that much easier. 

U-Haul offers a variety of options for families looking to move. And you don’t have to do everything yourself if you don’t want to. Outside of their moving kits (which consist of everything you may need to get your place packed based on the size of your home) they also offer containers that they can ship to your current home so you can pack at your leisure. Deliver to your new address or store while you get adjusted to your new home. U-Haul also offers truck rentals, if you’re a  do it yourself mover, like my husband. Their site can also recommend professional movers, if you’re more like me and not looking to pack and move everything on your own. 

The U-Haul Moving Supplies That Made Our Out-of-State Move Easier

One of my favorite things about using U-Haul for our most recent move was how easy everything was. Looking over moving supplies I had no idea how many boxes I would need, nor was I sure if we’d need shrink wrap, peanuts, or wrapping paper. But with U-Hauls moving kits (based on the size of home you are packing) all of that was figured out for me. All I had to do was choose the size of my house and bam I was sent more than enough supplies for our move. Which brings me to another great point, if you get too many boxes, they buy them back! 

For this move we decided to pack our own items. Previously we hired movers to pack and it was clear they weren’t handling our items how we would have. So with this being our first time packing, I had no clue what I was doing. Luckily U-Haul even makes that easy. They offer boxes of all shapes and sizes to fit your needs. Some of my supplies were their book boxes, the wardrobe boxes, and all the supplies that provide a variety of ways to pack your dishes / fragile things. Like, they even have an insert just for dishes, like cups / mugs. And while this may all seem like common sense to some, I was blown away by it all. U-Haul truly does make moving as easy as possible, no matter your level of experience. 

5. Keep All Your Moving Documents and Receipts in One Place

This will definitely come in handy should any issues arise. Remember how I mentioned those “professional movers” we worked with one of the many times we moved, tried to bait and switch us on the rate? Well, not only did they try to double our rate once they arrived at our home, but because we refused to pay anything additional than what was quoted to us we were made to leave MOST of our belongings. Being that we had originally paid for them to pack all of our items, load the trucks and then unpack once they arrived at our new place they ran into some issues.

Since we had to leave behind essentially everything but major pieces of furniture they owed us about half of what we paid back. Well, of course they tried to deny it. But good thing I took photos of everything on the truck, as well as them loading everything.  If I hadn’t had those along with my receipts it would have been an even bigger nightmare then that situation had already turned out to be. So the moral to that story is, document and keep everything. No matter how professional the person you are working with seems to be. 

6. Save Up Extra Money for Moving

Moving is a costly experience no matter if you’re moving from one state to another or even just down the street. And from experience I can say, you never really know what can happen so having some sort of an emergency fund is necessary. Exactly how much money you should save before moving to another state depends on a number of factors.

Are you renting a truck and handling everything yourself with friends and family? Or do you plan to have professionals handle it who can guarantee the safety of your items and back it up with their insurance? And even in those types of scenarios you just never know. Expect something to go wrong and plan for it. Our most recent move resulted in our king bed frame being cracked and unusable. Having done this a few times I had some money set aside as a contingency fund and was able to purchase a new one that same day. 

These are the types of things you want to account for when saving up for your move. Maybe you won’t have to replace furniture but the truck you rent runs out of gas. Or the washer falls and gets cracked as it’s being unloaded. And yes, any reputable moving company will have insurance to cover these things, but that can take months to get reimbursed. Not to mention, they often give you the deprecated value and I have yet to be able to buy anything brand new for what they give. It’s just always better to be safe than sorry. 

7. Don’t Forget to Budget the Travel Costs

When moving out of state, the travel portion of the trip can get pretty costly. Especially if you are driving the truck yourself. We rented a U-Haul truck (the 26 footer) with our most recent move and unbeknownst to us, tolls are doubled based on the size of the vehicle. So we ended up paying almost $40 total in tolls between our two cars and the U-Haul.

Depending on where you are moving to tolls may be something you need to consider. In addition, make sure to budget for gas, hotels (if its a longer trip and you may need to stop), food and anything else you may want to stop and get or do along the way. With it being just us, we stopped a few times along the way to allow our kiddos to see some sights, get souvenirs and other fun things to make the trip a little more enjoyable. 

8. Plan the Trip Early (6 Months Before Moving if Possible)

On the list of things to do 6 months before moving, planning should definitely be at the top. Don’t be like us and randomly decide to move out of state  two weeks before your lease is up. I mean, while it is very doable, the earlier you plan the smoother things will go. Trust me, I know from experience. Exactly how long you should plan will depend on how much time you can / want to devote to it.

If you can spend most of your free time on planning your move, 6 months is a great time frame. If you have a life, like most people, that will probably give you a good idea of the basics and help you become mentally prepared for the move. You won’t be taking a shot in the dark for sure, but I wouldn’t say you’d be an expert on your new state in that amount of time either. 

During your planning make sure you do more than just research the cost of living and all the boring stuff. Look up Youtube videos of others who’ve made the same journey. What were some of their reactions? What’s something they wish they’d known. Before we moved to North Carolina I spent a lot of time watching videos about all the different bugs / pests residents of NC find in their homes on a daily basis. Being someone who is deathly afraid of bugs of any kind, this was the type of thing I needed to know. 

Join all the Facebook groups. The Moms of insert new city group, the insert new city garage sale group, shoot even the insert new city group. Join as many as you can and then just read. Read what people complain about, the types of questions they ask. Look at the things they are selling. This will give you a front row seat into your new state and you’ll learn stuff no google search or youtube video could ever teach you. 

9. Pack in Small Chunks to Avoid Overwhelm

Whether you have children or not, but especially if you do, take your time packing. Which is another reason why you should start planning your move as early as possible. I spent about a month just packing the bottom floor of our home. Doing it one room at a time, making sure to leave out anything of necessity or items I knew would help me children feel more comfortable once we arrive at our new home. 

If you have children, pack their rooms last. This is one of those packing tips for moving out of state that can make or break your move. For the children anyway. It was my goal to ensure they did not feel overwhelmed, or as if their entire world was about to change drastically. I wanted things to be as normal as possible up until the very last minute. 

And once it came time to actually pack their rooms, I gave each one of my children their very own U Haul small box and allowed them to pack what was the most important for them. We then labeled the box and used a different color tape from every other box so it would stand out in the truck. We also made sure these boxes were packed last. This allowed the kids to have their items as soon as we got to the new house and help alleviate some of the stress of the move. 

10. Label Every Box with Room Name and Primary Contents

Seems super easy, but I can tell you from experience that not everyone thinks this way. Remember how I said those movers were not’ really taking care of our items during packing as we would. This was another issue we ran into. Which meant when we got to our new destination it was complete chaos trying to unpack. You’d open a box with dishes, shoes, and kids toys all in one and most of the time wasn’t labeled. A complete disaster. 

Take this a step further and use different colored tape for each room. Such as blue tape for the bathroom, pink for the kitchen and orange for the kids rooms. Then when you are unpacking the truck it’s that much easier to put things where they belong. 

11. Take This Opportunity to Declutter if Needed

This was one of the best tips for moving out of state that I received. You never really know what all you have until it’s time to move. A rule of thumb is; if you haven’t used it in over a year, you probably won’t. Make piles of things you absolutely need, things you can do without, and a may be pile. Then sleep on it. Don’t make any decisions that day on those maybes. A lot of times we make rash decisions based on an emotion associated with an item. Instead of if we actually need it. Once you’ve slept on it, get rid of the items in your maybe pile that you know you truly don’t need. 

12. Host a Massive Garage Sale Before You Move 

I grew up on garage sales so I am always a fan. My mom would take all of us to garage saling every weekend in the summer. It was like a treasure hunt. She’d be looking for something she needed around the house and we’d be looking for a cool toy. 

Garage sales are a great way to declutter without trashing everything. This way you know your stuff is getting a second chance. It’ll be being used by someone else instead of sitting in a closet collecting dust at your new place. Additionally, the things you sell at the garage sale could help offset some of the moving expenses. 

13. Have Your New Utilities Turned On the Day Before You Arrive

This last time we moved over the fourth of July holiday and I completely forgot to do this. Which means we were without utilities for a fews days due to the holiday. Another reason why planning is key here people. Most utilities services have websites or an app where you can connect everything based on a certain date. You can even pay your deposit (if you have one) and set up your automatic payments all in one place. P.S. if you’re reached this level of adulthood I salute you. Show me your ways, lol. 

Let me mention that I recently found out there are companies that can help with this type of thing for you. You provide them with your address and they provide you with all the information necessary to switch utilities over. These services mean no Googling the name of the power company in your new state. Or trying to find what internet provide services in your area. They have this all at their fingertips and send everything you need (with links and coupon codes) to your email. 

14. Make the Move on a Weekday if Possible 

Everybody works during the week, so this may not be doable. But again, everybody works during the week which is why I’m mentioning it as one of my tips for moving to a new state. Traffic is always heavier on the weekend. Especially from others going to visit family, go to their lake home, or coming home from some random convention that you had no idea about. Our recent move involved us driving through Tennessee during a convention that meant there were no vacant hotels and the roads were packed. 

15. Pack an Essentials Bag to Keep Handy While You Travel 

Pack things like clothes, diapers, wipes, favorite toys etc in a bag or tote and keep it with you. If you’re like me and like to clean before you begin unpacking don’t forget cleaning supplies. Things you may also want to include are toilet paper, paper towels, lightbulbs, toothbrushes and toothpaste, tools such as a screwdriver, drill or allen wrench for the furniture and trash bags. Having these in reach as opposed to searching through your truck and boxes for them is a huge time saver. 

16. Submit a Change of Address Form at the Post Office and Forward Your Mail

Additional tips for relocating to another state include making sure you submit a change of address. This can be done online for $1.10 (according to the USPS site this fee is to verify your identity), or in person. Mailpersons will typically have the forms with them in their trucks. But if not, you can always make a stop at your local post office to complete one. 

The post office now has what is called Informed Delivery which I recommended signing up for. It is a free service that provides you with daily emails about the mail you’ll be receiving that day. Which is especially helpful after moving to a new state. Mail gets lost all the time, so having a record of what you should have received can help in that recovery process. 

17. Don’t Forget to Update All Your Documents

Moving to a new state can be such a whirlwind that we can often forgot certain steps. Things like drivers licenses, shipping address for any subscriptions you may have, registering to vote in your new state, etc all need to be done once you’ve moved. Most states have an allotted amount of time to complete these things, including switching your  plates over, before they charge a penalty. Make sure to look that up for your new state prior to moving so you have an idea of your timeline. In addition to knowing what is required to get a license, register to vote or register your car. Most states will give you 30 days, but I’ve seen some that only allow 10 days before late fees and other penalties kick in. 

18. Register for School (if You Have Children)

Moving out of state can be stressful on kids, especially the thought of changing schools and leaving their friends. Having them already enrolled in school can help calm some of these nerves. If this is something you do well enough in advance, once you get settled in your new home drive past the school. Let them watch videos / look at pictures on the schools (or districts) social media pages. There’s nothing like walking in blind into a new place. The more your children can know about their new school the more comfortable they will feel when the first day of school arrives. 

Make sure you also request their medical records, school records and immunization records from the appropriate places before moving. Having a few copies of these readily available will help with the entire process go a lot smoother. 

Moving to a new state can be a scary situation. No matter how much you’ve planned something is bound to happen. It’s important to go into it with an open mind set. Be as prepared as you can by using the tips I give above to make it a little easier. Have you ever moved to a new state before? If so, what are some of your tips for moving out of state? Share them below to help a fellow mover out!

The post Moving Out of State? These 18 Tips Made It a Smooth Transition for Us  appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.

So what happens when you don’t look like everyone else? When you aren’t like your peers, parents, or anyone in your familial group? How does a biracial child develop their sense of self when they have no inspiration to go off of? 

Being biracial in America comes with a lot of nuances. Although most of society would like us to fit into one box or another, we often stick out like a sore thumb.

And it is often this uniqueness that gets attacked. The life of a multicultural child in America can quite often go one of two ways; learning self acceptance and self love or feeling alienated and worthless wishing they could fit in. 

It took me well into my 30’s to fully understand who I was and how to navigate such an existence. From an early age I remember feeling like the odd man out. Not quite fitting in with any of my friend groups. Later in life this manifested itself as low self esteem which ultimately was the causation for a lot of mishaps in my journey. While I don’t regret any of it, as it made me who I am today. It is something I don’t wish for any mixed child growing up. Everyone has a need to feel loved, known and valued. But these things can’t happen if we don’t love, know and value ourselves. And that all starts with our sense of identity. 

How to Help Mixed Children Develop a Strong Sense of Identity 

A child’s development and identity formation go hand and hand. As a parent to a mixed raced child knowing how to raise a biracial child is critical. While some parents may be teaching their children about a singular culture’s heritages and traditions, parents of mixed children have to do so for both sides of the child’s lineage. It is important to mention that while this may fall into the lap of one parent as opposed to two, it is still vital that an effect is put forth. 

I make no promises that it will be easy. Diving into a culture you may know nothing about in an attempt to teach your child can be scary, to say the least. Not wanting to offend, overstep or even appropriate another culture are all very normal reactions. But that does not mean we should shy away from it. Instead, learning as much as you can from others from that culture, researching as much as you can, listening and learning and ultimately asking questions (even when you feel it may be stupid) are the best ways to navigate it. Lean into what you don’t understand, being open and honest with yourself and child along the way. The more effort you put into it, the better the outcome for everyone involved. 

Start Young 

Forming an identity for children is something that starts as soon as they are born. From the moment a newborn hears their mother’s voice they begin to form a sense of self. Teaching young children about their culture, heritage, and traditions on both sides of their family tree is a great way to begin this process. Finding fun identity activities for children that incorporate diversity and also help teach how our racial uniqueness is to be celebrated help to strengthen their sense of identity. Having a good foundation on who they are will help alleviate any feelings of alienation they could potentially experience later in life. 

Look for Signs of Self-Doubt & Counteract It Early 

No matter the age, having high self esteem and confidence can go a long way. Positive identity development is key in fostering these in biracial children. I mean, could you imagine never quite feeling like you fit in? That everyone around you is somehow different and you aren’t enough like this or don’t look enough like that to be considered a part of the group? As a biracial woman I can tell you first hand how important self identity is for multicultural children. Without it, mixed race children suffer and begin to develop self doubt. 

This can look like believing a certain demographic is the prettiest. I remember when my daughter was about three years old and she told me how much she hated her hair and skin. That she wanted to be pretty like her baby dolls and have long yellow hair just like them. To say my heart was shattered is an understatement. But it opened my eyes to the importance of not only representation but also the importance of self identity in mixed children. 

Other signs may include looking for validation from others. This can come in the form of wanting all the newest, most expensive things in order to “be better than” their friends. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation as the one I found myself in a few years ago a few ways to counteract it are: 

• Daily affirmations – Don’t just tell your child how amazing they are, have them say it as well
• Representation – Show them any and everyone who looks like them. Barack Obama, Halle Berry, the dentist around the corner. The point is to let them know that biracial people are just as amazing, successful and cool as anyone else. 
• Books, books and more books – There are so many books available now that offer some amazon guidance on raising a mixed child. From learning to love their hair to embracing the skin they are in and everything in between. 

The most important thing to remember here is communication. You can give your children books to read, movies to watch, or dolls to play with until they’re blue in the face. But nothing will trump hearing it from you. 

Teach Them Both of Their Cultures and Backgrounds

As a biracial woman, I wish I could properly articulate the struggles I’ve had not knowing who or where I’m from. Having no help with the development of personal identity as a child, it took me a long time to feel completely whole and comfortable as a mixed woman. Which is why I can honestly say knowing their cultural background plays an important role in how children acquire a sense of identity. So take the time to teach them, not just yours, but both. And if you’re struggling with the other half, here’s some food for thought. 

My mother was adopted, and it was a closed adoption. Which means, to this day we have no idea who her family is. Luckily for me, I have done one of those DNA tests to help me identify some of her background. But adding that to the sad reality of most Blacks not knowing their own history due to slavery and I’m stuck. Stuck with a very limited view on my family heritage and traditions. And yet, I do my best to teach my children what I do know. Explaining mine and my husband’s culture to them the best I can. Filling in gaps as honestly as I can. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but leaving out an entire piece of who they are just isn’t doable. 

Celebrate Their Feature

There are going to be a lot of people who fetishize your child’s features. Saying things like, “you have such beautiful skin for a mixed girl.” Or “you’d never know he was biracial with all that pretty hair.” Do them and you a favor. Prepare them. Teach them that while their uniqueness is to be celebrated, microaggressioins and fetisization are not. 

Encourage a Sense of Belonging

This is probably one of the most important things we as parents can do for our multicultural child. Being mixed is almost like being caught in the middle. And while most like to joke that biracial kids have the best of both worlds, that is not often the case. 

Identity for kids is more than who they are. It’s knowing they belong. Even if they don’t look like others around them. Just because you look different from mommy and daddy doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love. Even if you are the only multicultural child in class doesn’t make you any less valuable. Using encouraging sayings like these help children feel connected and grounded. The younger you start the better the outcome. 

Help Them Foster Relationships with People from All Races

Having a biracial child is more than just teaching them about their culture. Its more than buying books about their hair, watching Halle Berry movies or talking about how incredible Barack Obama is. Mixed children need to see diversity. They need to know about not only their own cultural makeup but also those of other races. Take your child to the different parks in different communities so they have a chance to meet new friends. Enroll them in a school that embraces diversity and has the student body to prove it. The first step in knowing you aren’t alone for your uniqueness is see others and learning to celebrate theirs. 

Provide Space to Develop Their Own Individuality 

This is one of the topics I see a lot of parents struggle with. I hear them saying things like, well I want them to know they’re Irish as well as Black. Or they not gaviate towards their Swedish side and mostly resonate with their Puerto Rican family. And my question to this is always, why does that concern you so much? 

Promoting a sense of identity in your child means exactly that. Allowing them to develop their OWN identity. Yes, they need guidance from their parents. But guidance and control are two completely different things. 

And I get it, my mom was the same way. She’d ask me why I would say I was black as opposed to saying I was mixed. She compared it to me saying she didn’t exist outside of our home. Although I have empathy for her and how hearing her mixed child say that may have made her feel, the harsh reality is that’s how I identify. It’s how I am perceived by the world. It’s how I am treated the minute I step outside of my home. 

So while I may know my mother is French and my father is Black, to the rest of the society I am a black woman. I am treated as such day in and day out. Black culture is what I resonate most with and it shaped who I am today.  

I say all this to say, at one point I tried to appease her. I went around saying I was mixed and “not just black” as a way to honor her. But those words are rooted in anti-blackness. As if being black was wrong or bad and I was therefore trying to put myself as close to “whiteness” as possible. And I regret every day that I felt this way at one point. I regret everyday that I ever uttered those words.

While my mother may have had good intentions, it’s words like hers that uphold white supremacy ideology.  So I beg you, don’t do that. Do not try to guilt trip your child into identifying as one race over the other. Or to make sure they mention their biracial roots more often than just the one they feel most connected with. Our children are individuals just like everyone else in this world. And they deserve to make that decision on their own. 

Conclusion

Young children’s sense of identity is a very fragile thing. Which is why it needs to be cultivated and celebrated. Especially in our biracial children. Putting away any racial biases you may have and helping your little one grow into a strong and confident adult should be the ultimate goal. Even if that means asking some hard questions and making some personal changes along the way. Mixed children who have a strong sense of identity from a young age have been shown to be more successful, more confident and overall lead a happy life. And I’m sure that’s what we all want for our kiddos.

The post How to Help Your Young Biracial Kids with Their Sense of Identity  appeared first on Not So Perfect Momma.