Give Yourself Grace

Hey Momma,

With it being Maternal Mental Health Week I wanted to take a moment to talk about grace. Giving yourself grace and what that looks like.

As women we tend to put WAY too much pressure on ourselves. The pressures from society to be this iconic image compounded with our own insecurities and doubts often lands us in a whirlwind of frustration. 

As a new mom these feelings are often only magnified. The weight of having the survival of someone so helpless placed solely into your hands is often times marginalized by society. The picture perfect facade displayed across social media will leave anybody questioning themselves. 

Can I be that amazing? Can I have my life look as good, or maybe even better, than hers? 

But the thing is, her life isn’t that amazing. Her life isn’t that put together. These images in those tiny little squares are often well planned, and even better staged in an effort to display what we often fantasize about. And that’s just it. It’s a fantasy. It’s not real.

Yeah, some days are sunshine and rainbows. And some days are pure hell. Sorry for my bluntness but I have no other way to put it. 

Waking up at the crack of dawn after getting just 30 mins of sleep the night before to entertain my threenager, make breakfast for the bigger kids while breastfeeding my infant only to have my husband ask me a million times where his shoes are is not something I dreamt about as a kid. That wasn’t my happily ever after. It’s a nightmare I have yet to wake up from. 

I am in no way complaining about my life. I understand that I chose it and I am more then happy to lay in my bed. However, what I am doing is trying to give perspective. Perspective to the moms who think having their makeup done, a nice outfit, a clean home, and well behaved children is how motherhood is supposed to go. It’s not. That’s far and I do mean far from the truth. And it irks me that other moms out there are perpetuating such lies. 

So instead of beating yourself up for not having all the laundry done, instead of feeling inadequate because your two year old loses all sense of sanity when it’s time to leave the park, know that you’re doing an amazing job. 

Know you are an amazing strong mother. Know you are doing the best you can and that is truly what matters. What works for them may not work for you. What appears to be the best solution in their household may drive you nuts. 

Stop worrying about the dishes. Look away from the toys sprawled all over your living room floor and realize there’s always tomorrow. Today, give yourself grace. Take a moment to look in the mirror at all you’ve accomplished and be proud. Be damn proud. Because if I’m being honest, I dropped my kids off in the same clothes I had on yesterday. I haven’t brushed my teeth, let alone showered today and I’m pretty sure my dog just peed on my new rug because I forgot to take her out.

Love,

 

Jazmyne