There are a lot of things I could start out with, but first let me say, congratulations. Congratulations on taking the first step to take your body back and learn to enjoy sex. Making the decision to actually enjoy your life, all of it!
Sex is a huge part of our lives as humans and thus learning to enjoy sex is naturally a huge part of enjoying life. And it is also a major way to take your body back. Take it back from who, you may be wondering. From society, from men, from anyone who has ever hurt you or used you. Taking it back from those negative thoughts and feelings you have about yourself. Look girl, you’re taking it back from any and everything that put you in this place to begin with it.
Why do I need to take my body back to learn to enjoy sex?
Learning to enjoy sex first starts with taking ownership of your body. In a world where hot girl summer and feminism are at an all time high, this may not seem too hard. But if you’re a millennial mom like me, you’ve been taught your entire life that sex was something that man enjoyed. And if you, the woman enjoyed it, that was because you were nasty. A hoe, or any other derogatory word you want to insert there. But here’s the thing, it’s not.
How do I take my body back to learn to enjoy sex?
Taking your body back may sound simple, but its really more mental then anything else. You have to push past all the negative stigmas that come with sex. Getting past the thoughts of being dirty or disgusting if you do this or that in the bedroom and learn to embrace the sexual being God created you to be. Listen girl, God himself created you to have sex. He literally said be fruitful. Im pretty sure he didn’t mean lay on your back and count all the things you have to do today while your husband has the time of his life. And that’s biblical. So ignore those thoughts, because its just the devil anyway.
Learn to enjoy sex by being in the moment
With our two page long to-do list, we as mothers, can easily drift in and out of any situation. And I’m sure its something we learn at an early age. Being present without necessarily being present. But when it comes to learning to enjoy sex, it is of the upmost importance that we are actually present. Even if you aren’t in the mood, try to be. That’s what foreplay is for. Block all that other stuff out and really tap into the moment. Focus on what’s happening. Let your senses really feel and come to terms with whats happening. I promise you, once you’ve mastered this, sex becomes a whole new thing each and every time.
Learning to enjoy sex by first knowing your body
So once you’ve gotten past the negativity around sex and you’ve taught yourself how to be in the moment next learn your body. Take time to figure out what you like. Be adventurous. Ask your partner to try different things during foreplay and don’t be afraid to speak up during sex either. If you like something, say it! And if something doesn’t feel right to you, then voice that as well.
Look, I literally had a 6 month period where my husband and I tried different things until I found what worked for me. This included me trying positions I’d never seen before, speaking up when something felt good and finally letting him know that the biting thing just wasn’t for me.
At the end of the day we all have our own things. Things that make us excited to be with our partners, but if you don’t explore you’ll never know what they are. Learning to enjoy sex first starts by learning what you enjoy.
Learning to enjoy sex first starts by learning yourself
As moms, its easy for us to fall victim to the thought process of putting everyone’s needs before our own. And it can come at a costly price. So for me, learning to enjoy sex was me taking not only my body back, but my life back. I was saying I am not just a mother or wife. I am Jazmyne. I enjoy hood music, cooking, spending time with my kids AND sex. And I have absolutely no shame in that.
So mama, this evening take some time to figure your body out. This can be with or without your partner. Either way, doesn’t matter. Just make sure you take the time to learn yourself. Its one of the most empowering this I’ve ever done.